Saturday, August 9, 2014

It's Over

It's officially over. No one has liked that Instagram photo in two days. So, yeah. I totally get PTSD.

See also: Gwyneth Paltrow comparing mean comments to war

See also: Charlize Theron comparing media intrusion to rape

See also: Kanye West comparing his life to a soldier's

See also: Lupita comparing a red carpet to a war zone.

OK, there were a lot more of those than I was expecting. We get it. You think your life sucks. Being a complete asshole, making a ton of money, and marrying out of your league must be hard. I'm looking at you, Gwyneth and Kanye.

(I also think I told y'all I would never mention the Instagram photo again, but dangit. Y'all keep bringing it up.)

So I'll stop talking about it when y'all stop blowing my head up. (Not in a JFK-in-convertible way. Wow. Rest in peace.)

But I really am having the best week ever and the fact that VH1 hasn't called me yet, is really, really upsetting.

I'm not going to bore you with all of the reasons I'm fantastic. Instead, I'm going to tell you why my week was fantastic. Ok, my Internet week because my week IRL was pretty blah as usual.

First, Brad Paisley tweeted me.

Then Lauren made is awkward.

But THEN I tweeted Arie from Emily Maynard's Bachelorette season to tell him that I will die if I have to watch Chris from Andi's season be Bachelor and he favorited it, so now I feel like I need to help him campaign.

So go take this poll on Sean Lowe's blog (that awkwardly has a banner at the top telling me it's not a blog, which makes me think even more that it is a blog) and vote for Arie because I cannot not have it be Arie.

I know people like Chris and I like Chris the same way I like the song Love Story by Taylor Swift. You hate it but if it's on, you'll find a way to manage. I'm not going to be happy if I have to watch an entire season of Chris, but I'll do it and I'll tweet about it. Just like I'm never happy when Love Story plays, but I sing every word.

ALSO, if you forgot who Arie is, this is the only video you need to see of him. Ever.

And you need to know that he enjoys making me cry.

Moving right along.

This week also celebrated the one-year anniversary of Al Roker tweeting me, which is pretty cool if you're into weathermen who shit in the White House and then confess it during a TV interview. Just so happens, those are my favorite kind of weathermen.

So, yeah, Internet Me is doing great. Kim Kardashian Game Me isn't. I keep losing fans because I don't complete photoshoots. But I'm still an A-lister. Can you be an A-lister with zero fans? Don't worry. I'll find out.

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