Saturday, August 23, 2014

Sex and the City Movie and my thoughts

E! is showing this again and I'm not going to watch it. I'm stronger than the TV and I can change the channel.

Good God, that opening song gets me every time. They seem so happy. The clothes are so great. I once performed a routine to this song, so I have a special connection to it. Ok, I'll watch until right before the wedding.

All of those wedding dresses for her Vogue shoot are so ugly, even the one she picks.

Wait, why does Samantha live in LA? Did I miss something? Because in the last episode of the series, she was in New York, right?

Oh, god, that "carried away" pun Samantha makes at the rehearsal dinner is bad. I wish I would have never heard that.

I love Steve. IT WAS ONE TIME, MIRANDA. Forgive him and his cute glasses. Please. I can't see you do this.

Was Miranda a lesbian IRL yet when this movie aired? I can't remember and I didn't take notes during the show's E! True Hollywood Story.

WHY IS BIG CALLING HER DURING HER SLUMBER PARTY? Does he have any respect for women?

Hey, Carrie, if you have to tell your future husband what to write for his vows, maybe it ain't right. Do you think Aiden would have trouble with this???? No, Aiden would write a freakin poem for you, frame it, and then make a dang dining room table out of it. I don't even know what that means, but Aiden is perfect and I miss him.

Why am I watching this? I literally hate this movie.

I like that that little Asian baby Lilly hangs up on Big. I can respect that.

Remember when Carrie literally didn't have a family? Where are her parents?

Maybe Big will show up this time? Oh, nope, still a douchebag no matter how many times I watch this movie.

Remember when Carrie has a panic attack in every wedding dress she's ever put on? Maybe it's just best not to have a wedding, girl.

WHY ARE YOU HITTING HIM WITH FLOWERS?? Hit him with your fists. Flowers just make the entire thing look pretty.

That look from Charlotte. Why are none of the other friends hitting him?

Which friend would I be in this situation? I would be Samantha and tell all of the guests to go home. I'm good in crisis situations. Yeah, that would be me. I'm going to text some girlfriends and ask them the same question.

Ooooo, Katie brings up a good point. Always thinking outside the box, Katie.

"Yes, I'm still jilted." That might be the best line from the entire movie.

I sleep all day and through dinner all the time and I've never been jilted. Also, why have none of my friends ever spoon-fed me? I'm going to ask them.

no response.

"I need something to get me out of my Mexicoma." Oh, that's a good line, though.

Every good movie has a sassy black assistant — this movie, The Other Woman and that's all I can think of.

This movie is sad. I'm going to Facebook stalk some people.

"Maybe you're only allotted a certain amount of tears for each man and I used all mine up." Ok, that line is pretty good, too.

Wait, I want the Meet Me In St. Louis on DVD. Oh, nope, nevermind. I want the Louis Vuitton, except not that one. It's ugly.

Remember when Brady's name is Steve's last name. So his name is Brady Brady, but it's not because it's Brady Hobbs. That's weird. This is weird.

God, I love Steve. I want to cry. But I'm fine.

Oh, wow. Carrie is spending NYE alone in her apartment. This movie is sad. I don't like it. But this is as worse as it gets. It gets better. I think. I hope.

I wish my articles could start with "Love..." I wish I could write about ex-boyfriends and still have them marry me and then jilt me at the alter. I wish I could afford to live in New York and write about men.

Why are Samantha and Smith wearing matching pajamas?

"You're not alone," Carrie says to Miranda. Ok, that line is good. I like that one.

I like that Big is eating and drinking alone on NYE.

It's 7:17 and this movie isn't over until 8. Why am I doing this to myself?

Why hasn't Big called her house phone? He obviously doesn't want her back that badly.

Samantha looks good with bangs. I should cut my bangs again. I'm going to.

I don't and will never understand why Carrie got so mad at Miranda. She didn't make Big stand Carrie up. Also, those balloons in the restaurant is a little much. Restaurants don't really do that, do they???

Oh, God, the sushi scene. I know it's Samantha and everything she does is over-the-top, but I can't.

"You have to forgive me." -Miranda to Carrie.

Remember when Carrie said that over and over again to Aiden and it was really annoying? I miss Aiden. I wonder what kind of furniture he's making right now.

"Yeah, I broke a vow, but what about the other vows?" Oh, Steve, you're good. Good point. One point for Steve.

Those sandwiches look good.

Jennifer Hudson is kind of a douche in this movie. She gets engaged when Carrie is clearly heartbroken and moves away from her. Selfish.

Oh, good. Miranda showed up to the Brooklyn Bridge. They're kissing. Miranda kisses weird. She's taller than Steve. I love Steve. I once took a Buzzfeed quiz to see which SATC man was my boyfriend and I got Richard Wright and I haven't been on Buzzfeed since. I'm kidding. I retook it and got Steve and now I'm happier. Except I should have gotten Aiden because he's sensitive and has a nice nook.

Ok, I missed some parts. My dad just walked into my room to show me a Taylor Swift flash mob dance.

18 minutes left of this movie. I can do it. I can do it.

I like Harry. I think Harry IRL is a producer or writer for the show. I can't remember. But I think that's true.

I'm going to change all of my passwords to "love" because I'm a cliche white girl.

I don't think I would forgive a guy if all he could do was retype love letters from other people. But then again I would be married to Aiden.

Omg, she went back for the shoes and she got Big!!!!!!!

It's a happy ending!!!

I hate this movie. Now I'm happy and it feels weird. I shouldn't be happy about Big. I don't like Big.

"Why did we ever decide to get married?" Ok, that's also a really great line.

Ok, but my absolute favorite part of this entire movie is when they go to the courthouse to get married and the girls are there because Big set it up that way. Ok, Big did something smart for once in his life.

"Still. It would have been nice if you had the girls here... which is why I called them."

*I can't find a clip, so screw everyone*


I HAVE CHILLS. CHILLS. I FEEL CHILLS. WHY. I HATE THIS MOVIE. But when they open the doors and the girls are there. I'm tearing up. I'm fine. I'm fine. Oh, God. Steve is here. Jennifer Hudson is singing. I can't. This movie is so great. No, I hate it. It took me through too many emotions. I'm mad.

It's ending. It's over. I'm switching over to the ID channel.

I hated that. Never again.

OMG, it's coming on again...

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