Saturday, September 20, 2014

4 White Girls Do Oktoberfest

"What's the hashtag for this event?" -Augusta



Annoying White Girlism 1

That pretty much sums up the night in one quote. Augusta, a social media guru/perfectionist/master needed to know what hashtag to use on Twitter and Instagram.

Once we enlisted a young, black man to help us find the guest services booth (literally I must have been the only person to buy the food lovers ticket because everyone there didn't know what to do with me), we kindly asked him what the hashtag was.

"What's a hashtag," he asked.

Aww, yes. You've agreed to help four white, annoying girls and now we want to school you on social media.

Actual conversation between Cayla and impromptu tour guide
"Where are you from?" -tour guide to Cayla
"San Antonio" -Cayla
"Oh, ok. So how long have you been in Texas?" -tour guide

OK, then.

Once we got all of our coupons, we of course had to get beer. I asked for pink wine and when they didn't have that, I asked for the lightest beer available.



Annoying White Girlism 2

*I somehow ended up paying for Kassidy's beer and she was all like, 'I'll pay you back' and here we are.

**Before sipping my beer, I took a gulp of Cayla's water and choked on it.

***Because when I was drinking it, Cayla said, "Why are you drinking it like a little bitch?"

****I started laughing and I choked. I caused a scene. We caused a scene. This would be foreshadowing for the rest of the night.

Once we had beer, we needed food. I didn't want sausage, so I headed to the carnival side of Oktoberfest where there's corn dogs and nachos and whatnot.

I gave my order to a guy we're going to call Nacho Boy. He asked why I'm coughing. I explained how I had choked earlier. He giggled.

Then somewhere between me placing my order and actually getting my hands on the nachos, someone out of the four of us decides to ask him who is the prettiest. I've done this numerous times.

Rank us like a dog show! First in show, second in show, etc.



Guys never answer because they have brains for the most part.

WELL NOT NACHO BOY.

Apparently, he left his brain in the melted nacho cheese because all of a sudden I see his finger pointing at each of us, ranking us.



BAM BAM BAM BAM. And just like that it was done.

Do you want to know the results, my kind readers?

1st place: Cayla (probably because he couldn't see that she was wearing Sperry's with jeans)

2nd place: Augusta

3rd place: Kassidy

AND 4TH PLACE WENT TO ME.


L to R: 4th, 3rd, 2nd, 1st

So that was a fun way to start off our night.

After we ate and drank some, we rode rides.

If you're thinking, Why would you ever ride rides after you've eaten and drank? Then congratulations because you're apparently a lot brighter than us.

We rode the swings and the carnie man seated Cayla, Augusta, and Kassidy all beside one another and I had to be on the other side.

"We have to even it out." -carnie man

"I don't care about safety! I want to be with my friends!" -me

me alone.

Annoying White Girlism 3

We also rode a haunted mansion ride and literally it wasn't even that scary. It lasted about 45 seconds, but at the end an old carnie man in a scary mask jumped out.

We screamed.

We screamed bloody murder.

We didn't stop screaming until everyone in earshot was looking and laughing at us.

Cayla even got out of her seat and screamed.



Annyoing White Girlism 4

Toward the end of the night, we headed to an indoor tent thingy and spotted some men in dirndls and lederhosen. We had been looking for men dressed in that outfit all night so we could take a picture with him.

Annoying White Girlism 5

Well we found two guys.

At one point while talking to the younger one of the two, trying to convince him to take the picture, the older man whispers in my ear, "If you want a meal and not a snack, let me know" and then sits back down.

I'M SORRY WHAT.

WHAT THE ACTUAL EFF.

This wasn't like an attractive older guy either. This was a grown man dressed in dirndls and lederhosen for goodness sakes. It was creepy.

We brushed it off and went on with the picture. We argued over whose phone would take the picture.

Cayla refused to let a stranger hold her new iPhone 6.

Annoying White Girlism 6

We finally took the picture and RAN AWAY from the creepy man.

old creeper guy on far left. can't say i didn't warn you.

We also argued over whether we should throw out some warm beer or just chug it. We caused such a scene, two men joined in on the argument and honestly I don't even remember the final verdict.

Annoying White Girlism 7

We ended the night by taking an Uber .5 miles back to Cayla's apartment because we refused to walk.

us in the uber.

Annoying White Girlism 8

Being a white girl is hard, obviously.

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