Monday, September 29, 2014

Things people want me to blog about

Y'all have ideas. Loads of them.

Here are some of the suggestions I've received for this here blog:

-Drill team
I've written about drill team a million times. A lot of my friends who didn't have drill teams at their schools are fascinated about all of it. If you want, some drill team friends and I could drill you on all things drill team, but only if you want to hear us talk about holding open doors and changing outfits in 25 seconds and me knocking Danielle out with my foot one time and how we didn't sit the entire football game while the cheerleaders did, and how we did the jump splits in 30-degree weather, and other such things.

Jacklyn wanted me to blog about one particular instance, however.

So yes, basically, the babies (new girls on the squad) rode in a separate bus to away football games than the rest of the team. Upon exiting the parking lot, we sang the fight song. Upon returning, we sang the alma mater. Also our hats had to stay on during the entire duration of the bus ride. We couldn't take if off until we were in our homes. The headaches were real.

-How machines are taking their jobs
Yes, this is a very important issue and something the Wall Street Journal would probably write about. Not this blog. I will say this: It's important to not use the self-checkout machine at the grocery store because that's taking a job away from the 16-year-old who needs that first job and its experience. You see, that was boring, right? No one comes to this blog to hear PMS chat about the economy.

-Their dog
This is Baxter. He's sweet and likes me even after I took him to the vet twice. I don't know, I'm just kind of a dog whisperer or something. I wouldn't call it a gift as much as a God-given ability. Baxter also snores while awake.

-Why America loves the Kardashians
Because they're pretty and rich and most of Americans aren't pretty and rich, so we like to sit down after working a long day and watch what pretty and rich people do. Also: butts.

-People selling stuff on social media
Yes, this is annoying because it's the same as people trying to sell their relationship online. I get it. Your boyfriend is your #mcm. That's awesome because when I saw him last he was trying to make out with my friend, so I totally get why you need to convince yourself and everyone else that he's so wonderful. But that's none of my business. And that miracle diet product you boast so much about? That's also awesome and I'm glad you're seeing results. But I'm also confused when you say you feel like crap when you don't take said diet pill. I feel like crap when I don't snort cocaine or drink Dr Pepper, but that doesn't mean it's good for me. (I don't snort cocaine, everyone who thinks this blog is a very serious and direct reflection of my life and thoughts. This is just an example.)

Speaking of cocaine, I'll just say this about Ron Washington: I think I saw him in the back of a pickup truck today. OK, but other than that, as someone with a degree in public relations, if I was the head of PR for the Rangers (is it still Jim Sundberg?) and the claims about Ron Washington were false, then I would make sure they would be removed and the discussion would be done.


But what do I know? And honestly, what do the Rangers know? The marketing department once sent me this letter when I was 18.

But really, what do I know?

My sister has been begging me to write something about her since I began writing. I don't know what she wants me to say. This is Brittney. She is a career woman. She has a cat named Radley. She likes the beach. She doesn't eat dairy until it's my bowl of ice cream and then all of a sudden ice cream is her love language. She taught me how to shave my legs. She's pretty.

her with a guy from the bachelorette.

Keep the suggestions coming. I love 'em.

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