Sunday, September 28, 2014

What Would Happen If I Was On The Voice

This season of The Voice is so good and this is embarrassing because I tweeted a lot about how horrible I thought it was, so yes, I'm swallowing my pride and also some Dr Pepper, so you need to respect me.


this is actually really true.

But after sleeping on it, I've concluded that this is the best season yet and it may or may not be because of Pharrell.

he doesn't age and he's so smart and well spoken.


Also because this guy is really good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fk5t_jw0vKQ

And he tweeted me.



But I'm like YOU HAVE A WIFE AND KIDS, YOU NEED TO SETTLE DOWN AND BY SETTLE DOWN FEEL FREE TO VIRTUALLY WINK AT ME ANYTIME.

But seriously who is Usher because Pharrell, what is up.



But after watching and rewatching these episodes, I'm like, wow. This is really hard. Who would I make the luckiest person on earth and choose as my coach?

But first, I would need to choose a song.

I would go with Boy Like Me by Jessica Harp because it would show off my impeccable vocal range and my sassy attitude.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvSetFSc3gE

All of the judges would obviously turn around and be stunned at my stage presence and all-around beauty.



Gwen would only turn around when the other guys did because she has the worst case of FOMO in the history of FOMO.



As soon as I finished singing, I would be like, Gwen, just turn the chair around because I'm not going to choose you.



i'd rather die.

After I got rid of Gwen and her bribes of a clothing line, Adam would probably be really in love with me.





I would be like, "Adam, what can you promise me as a coach?" and he would be like:




And I would be like ok.

Then I would move on to Pharrell, who is so little and wears jewelry, and I think we all know how I feel about men wearing jewelry (#feminine) and I would be like, Hey.


Listen, Pharrell, I'm also happy, ok. Calm down.

And Blake, what can you bring to the table?


God, I love Blake Shelton. He would obviously help me meet some of the all-time country greats, like Hunter Hayes and Taylor Swift and whatnot, so he's def a possibility.

And then would it came down to make my decision, I would just be looking into six beautiful eyes, extremely confused.







I thought once I wrote this I would know who I would choose, but I still don't. This was really just an excuse for gifs.

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