Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Nick Jonas, canyounot

Nick Jonas, I'm going to need you to sit down.

no. focus.

Your Jealous is my jam. One part because it's catchy, the other part because I hate it.

Kassidy and I listened to this song on repeat the entire way to and from Lubbock that's obviously a lie, we listened to Beyonce's Diva, too, and after careful consideration and thought, Nick Jonas sounds like my worst nightmare.

Have you actually read the lyrics to Jealous because he can be difficult to understand, kind of sort of completely like Ariana Grande.

After digesting the lyrics, I've decided Nick is the ultimate Angry Elf. (Google says Nick is 5'9, which I do not believe.)

u look mad.

I don’t like the way he’s looking at you
I’m starting to think you want him too
Maybe she does. Maybe she wants your brothers, too.
Am I crazy, have I lost ya?
Even though I know you love me, can’t help it

I turn my cheer music up
Did you know those were the words? Is he pregaming before a fight over his girlfriend?

And I’m puffing my chest
I’m getting red in the face
I always thought it was, "I'm getting ready to face you," and I was like is Nick gonna hit his girlfriend?????
You can call me obsessed
It’s not your fault that they hover
I mean no disrespect
It’s my right to be hellish
Is that your right???? Interesting.
I still get jealous

'Cause you’re too sexy, beautiful
And everybody wants a taste
Yeah, remember when you're dating Miss Universe. Things happen. Maybe date a blogger and you won't have this problem.
That’s why (that’s why)
I still get jealous

'Cause you’re too sexy, beautiful
And everybody wants a taste
That’s why (that’s why)
I still get jealous

I wish you didn’t have to post it all
I wish you’d save a little bit just for me

Ok then.
Protective or possessive, yeah
Call it passive or aggressive

You’re the only one invited
I said there’s no one else for you
'Cause you know I get excited, yeah
When you get jealous too

Throughout this entire song, all I can do is picture a bunch of guys talking to Olivia, Nick seeing it, Nick puffing his chest, and then storming out of the bar. That's all I see.

And then I come across this video and it makes me so uncomfortable with how little he is and how tight he's holding onto her.

Other reasons he's my worst nightmare:
His mom.

Do you remember that E! show Married to Jonas with Kevin and Danielle and occasionally Mama Jonas would appear and remind you why dating a mama's boy is actually the worst thing in the world. And she was actually the worst thing in the world because she made fun of Danielle one time for using paper napkins and I'm like who are you?????????


You know he's always having to watch what he eats and pick his finger for blood or make you do it or then when you try to do it, his mom comes in and tells you how it should be done and it all seems like a giant mess.

i hate myself after looking at this picture.

I just miss this Nick.

1 comment:

  1. NO DUDE LIKE SERIOUSLY. Seriously. seriously. You went into my brain picked out the thoughts and wrote them down and are now claiming them as your own. It's fine. I'm not mad about it. I'm just glad someone remembered how f'in crazy his mother is. Now I know I'm not the only one who watched that show. And blah they were boring.