Monday, October 27, 2014

Taylor Swift's 1989 DECODED

I woke up at 7 a.m. this morning.

7 A.M.

I gagged twice so hard on my way to Target I thought I was going to throw up.

I didn’t. I prevailed.

I went straight to Target, picked up 1989, and was like, ‘Wow, this is an all-time low. I’m 24 and buying a Taylor Swift CD.’



I went to check out and was thankful it was a female, so maybe she would judge me less. She scans the cd, drops it, and says, ‘Ok, first we got to shake.’

AND THEN STARTS DANCING. LIKE SHE’S KRISTEN WIIG AS TARGET LADY. I WAS LIKE WHAT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.



I was like hahah ok, give me my cd, please.

I went to work and was like, literally how are people supposed to have a normal day when Taylor Freakin’ Swift has a new album out and we don’t know the secret codes yet?

Who wants to talk about the CD with me? No one I work with. Thankfully my friends texted me throughout the day and asked me what I thought and I like people who think of me when they think of Taylor. It makes my heart happy.

If you don't know, Taylor randomly capitalizes letters in her liner notes to spell something out. But this time it was lowercase, so that was kind of a curveball we weren't expecting.

Emily prevailed and decoded everything while I watched Taylor on The Voice.



“We already know who all of these songs are about, but we’re doing it for the people. I get it. We’re like doctors." -Emily

YOU'RE WELCOME FOR SERVING, PEOPLE. Results are below.


Welcome To New York

"We begin our story in New York."
Fascinating, Taylor. A better hidden message might have been, "This song makes Sad, Beautiful, Tragic sound like a decent song." If you don't know, this song sucks, but the rest make up for it.

Blank Space

"There once was a girl known by everyone and no one."
Blank Space is the best by far and I've never identified more to a song. She sings a line, "suit and tie," so it could be about Justin Timberlake, but probably not. This song is about Harry (post Jake, and really post Conor, but no one cares about Conor, including Taylor. She dated him for his family. And the boat).





My friends agreed with me. IT'S MY JAM. IT'S THE BEST ONE ON THE ALBUM. LISTEN TO IT NOW.

Style

"Her heart belonged to someone who couldn't stay."
Style is about Harry Styles because he has that James Dean daydream look in his eyes and that long hair, slicked back, white T-shirt, and his name is Harry Styles, hence the Style.



Out Of The Woods

"They loved each other recklessly."
This song is about Harry because of her reference to two paper airplanes ("Your necklace hanging from my neck. The night we couldn't quite forget when we decided to move the furniture so we could dance, baby like we stood a chance, two paper airplanes flying") and the snowmobile crash.




Shake It Off

"She danced to forget him."

This could be Harry. This could be Jake. This could be Conor Kennedy or this could be Conor's great-uncle, JFK. We don't know. What we do know is that we haven't listened to it since the CD came out because it kind of sucks compared to the rest.

All You Had To Do Was Stay

"They paid the price."
Still Harry. Can't blame a girl. Look at that man bun.



I Wish You Would

"He drove past her street each night."
Ok, well this isn't Conor Kennedy because he's 12 and doesn't have a driver's license yet. I don't think it's Harry because I've never seen him drive????? This sounds like a Jake thing to do because if you remember he used to sit in that chair and look out into the city and think about Taylor. #IAlmostDo

Bad Blood

"She made friends and enemies."
We halfway expected it to say, "She kissed a girl." But, it didn't. We're pretty certain this is about Katy Perry. We considered Kacey Musgraves, but she's not big enough to rival Taylor. Miley? Eh. There was that Grammy performance (they performed Taylor's Fifteen and Miley botched it) and we'd like to think that means they're friends forever. All sources lead to Katy.

Wildest Dreams

"He only saw her in his dreams."
"He's so tall and handsome as hell. He's so bad and does it so well."
We think this is about Harry because he's a bad boy. But Google says he's 5'11. Jake is 6'. Cory Monteith is 6'4, but not handsome as hell. But then she sings, "You'll see my in hindsight, tangled up with you all night burning it down." So, there's a possibility that it's about Jason Aldean??? But she also sings about a last kiss, so it could be about Joe Jonas because her song Last Kiss was about him and I just hope she's still singing about him because LOL.

We'll go with Harry.




How You Get The Girl

"Then one day he came back."
From everything we read, Harry and Taylor were together, and then broke up, and then he came back and she couldn't resist him because hello, Harry.



This Love
"Timing is a funny thing."
Wish it were funnier.

I Know Places

"And everyone was watching."
"They are the hunters, we are the foxes."
We're still going with Harry for this one because of that one line. And remember that sweater? FOX.



Clean
"She lost him but found herself and somehow that was everything."
But nothing at all. We're going to need you to stop growing up because no one likes a mature Taylor Swift who keeps her personal life personal.

This is the end.

WE'RE DONE AND WE'RE EXHAUSTED. DID YOU LEARN ANYTHING??? You should have learned that each song's hidden message is a part of a bigger story. Read it all together. It's dumb.

We're not really done. We're headed to the car to drive around and listen to the CD and there may or may not be tears I don't know.

2 comments:

  1. lol its dumb? xD why is it dumb and noo no tears! ( happy or sad?! :O)

    ReplyDelete
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