Tuesday, November 4, 2014

5 of the Worst Taylor Swift Songs

Taylor Swift is a genius.

we know that's not true, tay.

Like, sometimes it's scary and sometimes I'm scared she's going to take over the world and sometimes I worry I'm going to love that world a lot.

Taylor Swift, Tay, T-Swizzle, whatever/whoever, makes good music. DON'T DENY IT. Don't sit there and pretend you've never accidentally cried to one of her songs because it's so beautiful.

But for every Last Kiss, there's an I Almost Do, where you're just like why??????? Why are you still singing? This song should have ended at the 2-minute mark. You're still singing about a guy sitting in a chair, looking out the window???

For every All Too Well and a "You call me up again just to break me like a promise. So casually cruel in the name of being honest," there's the less-than-stellar Tell My Why's "I need you like a heartbeat, but I know you've got a mean streak."

This is a super subjective post because everyone has their favorites and least favorites. I personally don't like Love Story, but realize people lose their minds over it. My dad hates, HATES, Hey Stephen, and I'm like just because it's not called Hey Greg?????????

Stephen of Hey Stephen.

After countless hours of research (listening and talking with friends), I've decided on Taylor's five worst songs. (I want this blog to be completely fair and unbiased and taken seriously like it should be.)

1. Today Was A Fairytale

She wrote this for that movie Valentine's Day, which was a stupidly horrible movie. But not the good kind of horrible. Just the regular horrible.

Today was a fairytale. I wore a dress, you wore a dark grey T-shirt. You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess, today was a fairytale.

Like, what??????? Why????? This song is why people don't like Taylor Swift. It's too sweet. It's too bubble gum. It's too 'sparkles and sunshine.' It's just so goody-good, it's bad.

2. Sad, Beautiful, Tragic

I once read that she recorded this in one take and no, we know. It's noticeable. Also, a little more than halfway through, there are these background vocals that can only be compared to a sound coming from a dying dog. That song is just bad.

3. Innocent

I guess I just wish Mean was about the whole Kanye West incident or she would have slut-shamed him instead of Camilla Bell in Better Than Revenge. Innocent is too nice.

it's not ok, though.

It also doesn't really make sense. "You're still an innocent." AN INNOCENT WHAT? There is nothing innocent about Kanye West, let's make that one clear.

4. Superman

While I love listening to my friend Emily change the lyrics to this song to fit my love life, I actually can't stand this song.

Taylor's version: Tall, dark and superman/He puts papers in his briefcase and drives away/To save the world or go to work/It's the same thing to me

Emily's version on my love life: Short, pale and superman/He puts his guitar in its case and rides away/To save the world or go on tour/It's the same thing to me

I like when she sings mean things about John Mayer, like in Dear John, not when she sings about him saving the day and carrying a briefcase.

quality song.

5. Begin Again

I know, I know. You're mad this one is on the list. You're mad because it was really the only countryish song on Red and you like it. At least you think you like it. You're mad because you're thinking, 'But Conor Kennedy pulled the chair out for her????' But it's not a good song. It's slow and it's boring. The wording is awkward. She sings, "You throw your head back laughing like a little kid." THAT'S BECAUSE CONOR KENNEDY IS A LITTLE KID.

She sings, "I've been spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does it break and burn and end." THAT'S BECAUSE IT DOES, TAYLOR.

I don't want to end this post on a negative note, so I'm going to tell you about her better songs that you might not know about:

1. The Moment I Knew (about Jake Gyllenhaal not showing up to her 21st birthday)

2. Cold As You (She wrote it when she was like 14)

3. The Way I Loved You (co-wrote with John Rich)

4. Tim McGraw (her first single and quite possibly her best song ever)

5. Clean (on her newest album and I don't think it's about drugs and alcohol, like Cayla Jordan thinks it is)

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