Tuesday, November 4, 2014

JESSA DUGGAR GOT ENGAGED AND YOU'RE SERIOUSLY STILL SINGLE

I hope this blog isn't still around by the time Josie tricks someone into marrying her because I can't.

It's all so exhausting.



But, seriously. Jessa Duggar just got engaged and you're still single, most likely, I don't know, reading this blog, not getting engaged.



Ben is Jessa's boyfriend and he's cute but creepy AF. Jessa, however, is really pretty and semi-normal considering the fact she's never hugged a male. But the thought of Ben being a husband and possibly a father someday is something I can't fathom. He's like 19 and seems immature, but whatever. I'm not marrying him.



Ben proposed to her with some stupid scavenger hunt. The first clue is a present that Jessa unwraps. Inside, there's an iPad with a video of Ben explaining the scavenger hunt process. He says this:

"I miss your right now, so let's do something about it. I love you."



Why??????? Why are you so strange, Ben? Why are you Jim Bob 2.0???



Jessa has her brother John David fly her and Jinger somewhere. Jinger has to be with her because when she finally sees Ben, she can't be alone with him. You have to have chaperones until you're married.

She arrives somewhere, I think in Arkansas, and has to play mini golf and do other stupid shit and it's all just so blah. Blah, blah, blah. Just ask the damn question, Ben.

No man could ever make me go through a scavenger hunt because I would get so frustrated and bored, I would give up. I would find an ice cream shop, sit down, eat my chocolate cone, and call it a day. That's why I'm not engaged. Right????? That's the reason????



Everyone and their dog is involved in this engagement. A trolly driver, the mini golf lady, all 83 kids, EVERYONE.

Jessa follows all of the clues, like gathering a dozen roses from strangers in a park, getting on a train, until she's finally led to this little chapel out in the middle of nowhere.

And ok, ok, ok. This is actually kind of cute??? It's a glass chapel and it's small and literally in some forest. Once Jessa got there, it was dark outside, so Ben had set up candles and roses, which is kind of sexy for a couple who has literally never hugged??? All that's missing is a freakin' bathtub, Ben.



I don't like giving Ben credit for it, but it makes for pretty scenery. I just wish Jessa didn't have to run around all day and get sweaty before the big proposal.

Once she said yes, they hugged. THEY ENGAGED IN A FRONTAL HUG AND JINGER, THE CHAPERONE, DIDN'T STEP IN.

NOT JESSA AND BEN BUT STILL NOT ALLOWED. I'M MAD.

I'm pissed. Don't just promise to your family and God that you won't hug before marriage and then HUG IN A CHAPEL.

The episode ended and they got to tell their families even though the entire county/country/America knew it was going to happen.

Josie word count this episode: 21 too many



P.S. If one more sister gets engaged, Jana will go over the edge.

2 comments:

  1. Hahaha I agree with this entire post. You are the only one that agrees with on how proposals should go. Poor Jana she is going to start cutting.

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  2. I am betting my life that Jana is a lesbian, her coming out to Jim Bob and Michelle would make some solid gold TV.

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