Thursday, November 27, 2014

Murder is fun

In two days I move out of my parents' house. This means a lot of things, but it mainly means no more Investigation Discovery channel because I will be a broke hustler and will not be able to afford it.


ID is what I like to call the Murder Channel.

There are about 15079823 shows on this channel and they're all the same but all have different titles.

Show titles examples:
Homicide Hunter
My Dirty Little Secret
Nightmare Next Door
Deadly Women - i.e. Jodi Arias
A Crime to Remember
I (Almost) Got Away With It - but they didn't.
Deadly Devotion
Who The (Bleep) Did I Marry? - not everyone ends up dead but it's still good television
Deadly Affairs - "Two's company, but three's a crowd when one's a killer." -Susan Lucci, the host
Dates From Hell - do not, I repeat DO NOT watch a marathon of this show before going on a first date with a guy
Wicked Attraction - most of these episodes have to do with preachers/pastors/ministers/idk the difference
Stalked: Someone's Watching
I'd Kill For You
Happily Never After
Fatal Vows - somehow not the same show as Happily Never After
Evil Twins - seriously the creepiest. Read the Wikipedia page for June and Jennifer Gibbons
Evil Kin

Anytime someone comes over, they HATE that this is always on my TV. They claim they're scared and I'm like, Sorry, but Pretty Little Liars also scares you, so grow up.

Most of the time, I fall asleep to this channel and have horrible, horrible dreams. Like I'm being murdered or stalked or I like show up to school in my underwear or just something generally horrible.

The beauty of this channel is it's on all the time. NO INFOMERCIALS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. I can wake up at 3 a.m. and instead of seeing Adam Levine complain about acne he doesn't have, I can watch someone get brutally murdered.

ya i'm concerned about a pimple on his face.

Here are some of my favorite episodes:

Dates From Hell -"Dark Knight"
I don't want to give anything away, but here I go. Basically you follow this couple through their first date and the entire time you're thinking, Ohmygosh, he's going to murder her. BUT HE DOESN'T. Instead, they go and see the new Dark Knight movie IN AURORA, COLORADO AND HE SAVES HER. HE TAKES A BULLET FOR HER. IT'S THE SWEETEST THING ALIVE. Until you go and Google the couple and find out he was cheating on his wife with this young girl he died for and then you're like oh.

Deadly Women -"Til Death Do Us Part"
Basically this woman kills her preacher husband in his sleep because he was abusing their children. During the trial, she takes the stand and talks about how he made her dress up like a stripper and everything and then the jury feels sorry for her and she only gets 210 DAYS IN PRISON BUT ONLY SERVED A WEEK. ONLY A WEEK, PEOPLE. 

Also, I can't think of the series for this one, but one is where the husband is a complete liar and didn't really go to Harvard and get his law degree and then he poisons his wife with antifreeze and it's all so tragic.

That's all. 

Click on the ads, if you love me.

1 comment:

  1. Hahaha, thanks for going that one step further and researching the WHOLE situation for ¨Dark Knight.¨