Sunday, November 16, 2014

My Genius Reality Show Ideas

Reality TV is good. Reality TV is bad. Reality TV is funny. Reality TV is sad.

I spend all of my days and nights watching horrible reality TV. And I have ideas. But sadly, Ryan Seacrest and his team haven't asked for my opinion because THEY'RE BULLIES.

Here are my ideas.

Murder Bachelor
Instead of receiving a rose, the women stay in the game called love by staying alive. However, if they're kicked off the show, they immediately die. The last woman alive is the winner. It makes the stakes that much higher.
Other anecdotes: The Bachelor can kill you, but the other women can kill one another, too.
Tagline: "Love is murder."


6 out of 8 of my friends say they would watch this.

Flower Girl-Zilla
Everyone is so concerned with the bride on her wedding day, but the flower girl gets no love. They're the ones slaving away and perfecting their walk. They may wear a tiny wedding dress, but the sad truth is no groom is waiting for them on the other end of the aisle. And that's why many of them go off the rails.
Other anecdotes: There will be random shots of the ring bearer outside smoking a cigarette.
Tagline: "I said I would only throw white rose petals, not this red shit."


3 out of 8 of my friends say they would watch this. 

Mormon To Stripper
This would follow former Mormons around during their newfound love for stripping. The show would chronicle how it feels the first time they take the stage and how much money they make compared to other strippers. Julianne Hough would make a terrific first episode.
Other anecdotes: Many of them will have to break their new career news to their sister wives. Jealousy will ensue.
Tagline: "If Jesus can turn water into wine, he can make me a stripper."

forget about her mormon past.

4 out of 8 of my friends say they would watch this. 

Professor Kanye West
Because Kanye is completing his community service hours by teaching a fashion course at some college, we might as well make the most of it with a reality show as well. The show will be in real time, so there's no chance for censoring. The Kardashians will make guest appearances to talk about their successful fashion line. The students' final project will be to dress North West. Their grades will depend on her facial expression.
Other anecdotes: There will be confessional-type interviews of the students, where they'll most likely cry at how horrible the class is.
Tagline: "Imma let you finish, but I am the fashion god."

you think i'm gonna wear dat? -north west

4 out of 8 of my friends say they would watch this. 

Billy Ray Kennedy
Miley Cyrus is dating Patrick Schwarzenegger, who is a Kennedy by default because Maria Shriver is a Kennedy and I don't really know. That means if Miley and Patrick get married, Miley's dad, Billy Ray Cyrus, will kind of not really be a Kennedy. If Billy Ray is a Kennedy, he'll have to go through royal preparation and learn how to be somewhat of a decent human being.
Other anecdotes: Billy Ray and Arnold and Maid Midlred's son will have a unique bond.
Tagline: "It's not what you can do for your country, it's what Billy Ray can do for your country."


1 out of 8 of my friends say they would watch this.

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