Saturday, November 15, 2014

Romance is hard

Romance is hard, y'all.

You didn't need PMS to tell you that. I'm sure there are plenty of ladies on the front line of dating getting hit by bullets every day and yes, I just compared dating to fighting in a war. God bless our troops. Thank you for serving. Our country is better than yours. Whatever.

It's hard. Hard. Difficult. Not easy.

No man is perfect. If he has nine out of 10 qualities you like, there's one that you absolutely just can't get over and you end up spending all of your time wracking your brain around it.

Like he has a girlfriend.

Or he doesn't like you.

Basically things that can't be fixed unless you're down for murder or plastic surgery.

Before you preach at me, know this.

Girls don't hate nice guys because they're nice. They don't like nice guys because they're boring. They talk about their office politics like we give a rat's ass. And worse than that, they don't laugh at your jokes mainly because they don't get them.

Girls don't like guys with girlfriends because they're unattainable. Not true. They like guys with girlfriends because most of the time that means they know how to be a good boyfriend and that's attractive.

Girls don't like guys with tattoos because our dads hate them. Tattoos are attractive because they've committed to something for a lifetime. And maybe our dads hating them makes it a tiny bit more exciting, I don't know.

Finding the perfect mix of a guy who is cute enough to look at, funny enough to make us laugh, and nice enough to tell us we're pretty once in a while, slash everyotherminute, is hard. It's the impossible strategy of straddling a line of This is what I'm worth and Seriously, anyone will do at this point.

If he's funny and you like his jokes, your best friend will tell you about a time he insulted her.
Hoes over bros or chicks before d!cks or whatever the saying is, it's true. You can't be that girl who loses all of her friends because you think a boy is cute.

"The entire time I kept thinking, 'If Paige ends up dating him, I'm not going to like it.'" -Kassidy Ketron
Oh, ok. So, like, I probably shouldn't date him then?

If he's nice to you and makes you feel really special, he'll call his ex-girlfriend a crazy whore and you'll question everything.
What did he just say? Girls aren't crazy just because. Someone made us them crazy. What is he going to say about me when this is all over?

If he's passionate about his job and what he does for a living, he'll be on the road for half the year, chasing the dream.
Why isn't he texting me? Is he really working all the time like he says he is? Who is she? Do you think he has a girlfriend in every city? Oh, my gosh. I just realized I'm his Dallas girlfriend.

If he's friendly and outgoing, another girl will be his best friend on Snapchat and you'll want to kill a biotch.
I'm glad he has friends who aren't me, but seriously, who is she? What are they snapchatting? This is it. He's breaking up with me. I can't take it anymore.

And then when just the littlest thing goes wrong, you'll spend hours upon hours discussing everything with your girlfriends, who are also single, and question every last thing. They will offer up advice that doesn't make you feel any better.

why does KT think she's Thought Catalog????

You'll branch out and ask for the opinion of a male because, you know, they probably have a better idea of what guys are thinking than females.

"I think he just wants a fling." -a guy friend

What?! No!! That's impossible. Why do you think that?? Who asked for your opinion anyway. You're full of crap. He's a nice guy.

Romance sucks. Eat a brownie.

No comments:

Post a Comment