Sunday, November 9, 2014

Things people want me to blog about part 2

All day every day, people are just stopping me on the streets, suggesting I blog about something. I hate all of the suggestions either because they're stupid or I didn't think of it first.

WHAT CAN I SAY? I'M THE VOICE OF THIS GENERATION If you believe anything I say, I'm sorry.

Let's just get started. There's no need to waste time with filler words in the beginning.

Chantal Espinoza, who took over my position at The Daily Toreador, requested I blog about how people mainly college students don't know what an opinions column is. An opinions column is different from a regular news story because a regular news story is presented with only facts and they are attributed. An opinions column is mainly opinions that are supported by facts. Did that clear anything up for anybody? Are you still confused? Do you get too angry reading the opinions of other people? It's like your 140-character tweet, but longer.

Katie Johnson wanted me to blog about "the one that got away." There's a guy in every girl's life who just barely escaped us. When we discussed who ours were, I decided they weren't the ones who got away so much as they were the ones who just didn't want us. There's a difference and it's hard. You can't play hard to get when you're hard to want. Remember that, everyone.

Hannah Roden, who took over my position of senior lieutenant on drill team, asked me to blog about Grease. I think she even mentioned that this blog has ruined her life or something and I'm like, yes. That's the job of PMS.

Grease is a fantastic movie and no, I don't particularly care for the slumber party scene mainly because I'm like Sandy and coughing after smoking a cigarette is a real thing.

Yes, Sandy is an idiot but THE HEART WANTS WHAT THE HEART WANTS, according to Selena Gomez. No, I'm not attracted to Danny even though he's flaming. The little blonde boys does it for me more.

Everyone and their cousin wants me to release my official statement on the Duggars. The rumor is that Jessa and her new groom Ben did the deed in the church right after they got married. We haven't seen footage from their "I do" moments yet, but if they are anything like Jill and Derick, then they probably also ran out of the church to hide in a secluded room.

Also: this picture.

Jessa and Ben... what can I say. I always knew Jessa was the dark sheep of the family, but this photo is something else. Have you ever heard the saying, "Everything's holy in marriage?" Did I just make it up? People are like, but they're married! Sex is healthy and important and something God created! Yes. But do we need to be reminded of it? I don't know. It's just so odd to me that the Duggars are not allowed to hug, but are allowed to reportedly get busy in church.

Ashley Guvernator wants me to blog about how Luke Bryan is a douche. I don't know what he did to set her off, but it must have been something bad.

Also, this song exists just in case you ever feel like Luke Bryan isn't a 40-year-old frat boy.

Cayla Jordan wants me to blog about how pretty she is.

And me? I just want to blog about how Brad Paisley DMed me the other day when I didn't even DM him first.

I tweeted this:

And then he DMed me this:

What does it all mean? Discuss in the comments.

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