Wednesday, December 24, 2014

I hung out with high school friends last night

I went to a party last night hosted by old high school friends. #naughtyatthenorthpole

It's important to note that this was the fourth annual party of this kind and this was the first year I was invited.

I don't know, I wasn't like super cool in high school and I have no idea why.

And by invited, I mean I straight-up asked if I could come and you can't really say no to someone when they're as desperate as I am.

more on the blacked-out name soon.

But I am certain I will never be invited back and I have my reasons why.

I invited outsiders
So, I guess I just didn't realize parties were still exclusive things. I thought that was just something you did for your third grade pool party. So I loaded my car with my roommate and hot neighbor. Upon walking into the party, I told everyone Kassidy was my out-of-town friend and had nowhere to go but the party. No one believed me. I also told everyone my neighbor was THE neighbor I blogged about. Turns out absolutely nobody reads my blog and it's fine. I'm not upset. Seriously. It's fine.

hot neighbor with his face covered so it adds to the mystery of it all.

I called everyone boring
You know that episode of Sex and the City where Carrie and the Russian are at a party and that girl falls out the window and dies after saying, "I'm so bored I could die." That was me last night. I'm not proud and I'm sorry.

me last night.
I flirted with everyone
I know the above text message implies that I wanted to go to the party just to flirt with one male, but that is certainly not the case. But in an attempt to see what some old HiGh ScHoOL bOyZ were up to, I went outside and started chatting. Everyone was so uninterested. In fact one male, who shall not be named and I blacked out his face to protect the truly innocent, walked away at one point and I yelled, SORRY I'M NOT PRETTY ENOUGH.

Seriously, I flirted with everyone
Once some men were not giving me any attention, I set my sights on someone new. I told Stacey my game plan and she told me I wasn't allowed to flirt with him because he's someone else's guy. LE'TS POINT OUT THAT THAT SOMEONE ELSE WAS NOT AT THE PARTY AND SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND WHO IS NOT SAID GUY. So yeah, everyone. Mean Girls is a real thing and apparently I was dealing with Aaron Samuels. I've never felt more like Cady Heron in my life. So you know what that means. I vomited on him by the end of the night. HAHA kidding.

I didn't get in the group picture
Kassidy and I hid behind the dishwasher because we are PIMPS while everyone else took a group picture and I'm sure it's on Instagram if you search the hashtag #naughtyatthenorthpole


I did my model walks
Seriously, nothing says party like PMS busting out her infamous modeling walks and showing everyone who will even look in her direction. Model walks included: Victoria's Secret model, Miss America, and 15-year-old starving model. They were a hit. And by hit, I mean people considered murdering me.

It's all fine, though. Even if I never get invited back it was worth it because I saw Hannah and she's a BAMF, who works at CFA in ATL and I'm done with the acronyms. Sorry.

I also saw Tyler and we bonded over being freelancers. "Haha, I don't know where my next paycheck is coming from either!" we said to each other, giggling.

KK's caption: giggling.

And that's it. I'm sure I missed something but it's fine. The night ended when a bunch of minors showed up and started drinking the beer. Nothing ruins a party like that. But I enjoyed it and it's always nice when something is your first and your last. Goodnight and Merry Christmas.