Wednesday, December 17, 2014

What happens when people you blog about figure out you blogged about them


I'm basically just nervous laughing the entire time I'm writing this post.

It's like, I view my blog viewings. I have Google Analytics, so I can see the tiniest detail of who is viewing my blog. I once did some thorough research to see if I could figure out if Brad Paisley has ever read my blog and then I was like, Paige, Brad Paisley does not care about what PMS has to say.

And pretty much unless you like the post on Facebook or walk up to me and tell me you enjoy reading this blog, I just don't think you read it because I'm a real-life human being, who doesn't assume things.

And even when you like it on Facebook, I'm still not certain you're actually reading it. Idk, blogging/self-awareness is hard.

And sometimes even when you say, Oh, I'm the biggest PMS reader and then I'm like, What's your favorite post????? And you're like, Oh, I like all of them??????

Ok. I literally have no idea what you people like to read, so usually it's just me throwing things up against a wall and seeing which ones stick.

But sometimes, SOMETIMES, people will reference the blog to me and I'm like:

Oh???? I thought for sure you didn't read this blog???? I thought you had like important things to do/read.

Last night, my neighbor was like, So, how was the Weezer concert??? You had an extra ticket??? Are you surprised I'm not wearing my orange pants right now???

I just giggled. I was like, I don't know what to say, what to do, what do I do with my hands, should I look him directly in the eye, oh, god, there have been so many times I've blogged about how hot he is, oh god, I can't breathe, sorry, am I allowed to say that (rip that guy), and ok, yeah, Paige, just own up to all of this.

So I was like yeah????? I said that????? I wrote all of that????? I'm confident in everything I wrote???????

who tf else would i be talking about.

And then Single Father of 2 referenced his own name on some photo on Facebook.

Oh, ok. Yes, yes, help.

idk even.

But sometimes people ASSUME that I'm writing about them and that's the closest I ever come to feeling like Taylor Swift.

"Why do people assume Dear John is about John Mayer???? I dated a lot of a-holes named John when I was 19????" -Taylor Swift, basically.

"Why do you assume you're the neighbor I'm talking about???????" -me

"Why do you assume you're the single father of two I'm referring to?????????" -me

stop reading this blog pls.

*this blog gets the 'my third boob' label because really, I don't need a third boob to make myself unattractive to men when I have this blog.*

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