Saturday, February 7, 2015

"Let's go meet Sean Lowe!"

How basic can four girls be. How white can four basic girls be. We could not be whiter or more basic unless we had framed paintings of the Eiffel Tower above our toilet.

we are so basic and white we are practically this bachelor contestant.

After brunch (God, still so white and basic), Augusta, Cayla, Ali and I decided to head to SMU's bookstore to meet former Bachelor Sean Lowe.



And by we decided, I mean, I said I was going and because Augusta forced me to brunch, she felt bad, so decided to go, Ali joined, and I told Cayla I would go to the Dallas Museum of Art with her if she would meet a former reality star with me.

We walked into the bookstore and a nice man asks what we are there for.

BOOKS? DO THE FOUR OF US LOOK LIKE WE'VE EVER READ A BOOK? WE ARE HERE FOR SEAN LOWE, PLEASE DON'T BE STUPID.

So he then tells us we can buy his book at the register.

"He has a book?" -Augusta

Yes, this was a book signing. Sean Lowe doesn't just show up to bookstores for personal appearances and to be gawked at by teenaged girls unless he is profiting from it somehow.

So I went to buy the book and I only spent half of my savings.

dis book better cure aids.

27 DOLLARS. TWENTY SEVEN DOLLARS FOR A BOOK TITLED "FOR THE RIGHT REASONS." THIS BOOK BETTER ALSO TELL ME HOW TO MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO KILL MYSELF BECAUSE THIS WAS A $27 BOOK. i'm done.

So we went and stood in line and honestly, it was only 16-year-old white girls. And some moms. But mainly young girls. WHO BROUGHT HIM FLOWERS AND I WAS LIKE LADIES, YOU MAKE THE MAN GIVE YOU FLOWERS. anyway.



While we waited in line, Augusta took pictures.





She was wearing last night's clothes because what is dignity. Also, a woman came by with sticky notes so we could write what we wanted Sean to sign our book. I wrote this.


Then we brainstormed what we would ask him. Questions that didn't make the cut:

  1. If you were in the Twin Towers while they were burning down, would you jump out of the building or just burn to death?
  2. What is your favorite Bible verse? You can't say John 3:16
  3. Our friend is starting a book club with her non-believing boyfriend. What book do you recommend?
  4. Is Catherine having a boy or a girl?
  5. Will you rank us like a dog show? We will trot for you.


Questions that did make the cut SLASH ACTUAL QUESTIONS WE ASKED SEAN LOWE:

  1. Who is the best guitar player of our generation?
  2. What is your favorite book in the Bible?
  3. When you do decide to have a child, can you ask for me at Baylor, so I can deliver it? Ali asked that one because she's a baby nurse.
  4. If you had to give a first impression rose to one of us right now, who would it be?
  5. Will you read our blogs? Yes, Augusta and I wrote our blogs on a business card and handed it to him because we have no shame in our game.
He answered all of them and DRUMROLL PLEASE HERE ARE HIS ANSWERS:

  1. John Mayer. Like, ok then, I would have said Brad Paisley but whatever.
  2. John. Like ok, do you know any other names besides John?
  3. He told Ali he would remember that and be sure to ask for her.
  4. After we asked this, Augusta says to this God-fearing man, "And you can't choose Cayla just because her boobs are big." LIKE OK AUGUSTA YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT. Anyway, he said he would divide the rose into four and give it to all of us. Awwwwwww. I remember my first politically correct answer. PICK ONE OF US.
  5. He said he would definitely check out our blogs and I just need to know if you're reading this, Sean. So can you leave a comment or favorite this tweet or something. Or, I mean, you could tweet it out to your 94 million teenaged girl followers or whatever, I mean I spent $27 on a book for you, I think you could give me the decency of letting me know you're reading this.

God bless. God bless Sean Lowe for not calling security on us and actually signing my book how I wanted.



he looks scared.

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