Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Patricia Does Tinder Again

Boys are so effing cute sometimes you just want to kill them.

You. Want. To. Physically. Hurt. Them.

Friend of the blog, Patricia (whose name isn't really Patricia, but because I'm all about protecting the innocent, I changed her name), apparently didn't learn her Tinder lesson the first time, so she went back on.

Did you forget about her other blogworthy Tinder experience? Here's a reminder.

Remember now?



Ok, so Patricia yearns for male attention and that's ok. She is a woman. She is a feminist. This is ok. This is America. It's a free country. And Tinder is great for receiving said male attention. Except if Tinder isn't full of gay guys, it's full of guys in relationships.

No, like, seriously, I'm not kidding. This is a very serious blog and I do not play around.

After matching on Tinder and chatting, Patricia and Overalls (I don't know his real name and it's important to note Patricia called me and interrupted my shower one day just to tell me that this Tinder guy sent her a snapchat wearing overalls. She was disgusted, I was like ok, and now his name is Overalls) exchanged numbers. long sentence. out of breath.

Then he did the classic trick of adding her on Snapchat once he got her number, probably to make sure she wasn't really an 43-year-old dude Catfishing her.

This is what's it's like to date in 2015, just in case you're a Baby Boomer and reading this.

Because many people's Snapchat name features their last name, it's not hard to find them on Facebook and stalk them.

LIKE THIS IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE, PEOPLE.




Here's something everyone needs to know. Women can find anything on social media. Anything.

  1. You can't just be snuggly with a girl one Friday night and then be tagged in a photo of flowers from another girl that next Tuesday and expect us not to notice. "I met her Saturday." hahaha k. 
  2. You can't just be a cam girl and expect no one to find out. 
  3. YOU CAN'T STILL BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE AND EXPECT TO STILL MEET PATRICIA FOR DRINKS, OVERALLS.

It's cute. It's freakin adorable. It makes me want to hit a freakin puppy how guys think we are so clueless.



Because Patricia's balls are the size of dimes, I took matter into my own hands — literally, I took the phone from her and texted for her to let Overalls know a little something.





LIKE HOW IDIOTIC DOES PATRICIA LOOK?????????????????????!!!!???????? If your gut says the guy wearing overalls is probably up to no good, just trust it. Just put the phone down and walk away.


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