Sunday, March 29, 2015

Your Duggar Update, Kind Of


I went over to my parents' house to do laundry today and about three hours in, I realized I could be watching and blogging 19 Kids and Counting. I asked my dad to turn it on, so he had to turn off some James Bond movie. In other news, my dad killed himself.

rip ice daddy.

This season basically revolves around Jessa and Ben and how they are engaged and about to get married and yeah, brides don't get enough attention, let's dedicate the entire season to their engagement.

UPDATE: My dad just asked if Jessa and Ben were the ones who bumped uglies in the coat room after their wedding.

ok. okay. o.k. then.

This episode is about their bachelor/bachelorette party and Jessa and her bridesmaids decide to go to Vegas to get wasted and take a pole dancing class.


please someone murder me.

It's the Duggars. Of course Jessa and Ben's bachelor/bachelorette party is playing a football game and the girls watching it.

Throughout the episode, the entire family looks back on Jessa and describes her.

"Full of energy"

"A handful"

"Don't mess with Jess." Jess is Texas.

"She likes to get stuff done. She will tell you exactly what she's thinking. She will stand up to you. She always has an opinion and is always going to express it."

"Murder me." Oh, those were my thoughts. Sry.

Those were the most unique things said about her. The rest of the time they just talked about how organized she is. She once organized an entire storage room. And she helps Michelle with homeschooling the children. And she packs for everyone.

"Where was Jessa when you needed help packing when you were 6?" -my mom. YEAH, MOM. I BET JOSIE HAS NEVER ARRIVED IN HAWAII SANS UNDERWEAR.

ok. moving on.

The scene keeps cutting back and forth between the football game (present time) and flashbacks of Jessa and things she's been ~up to~ in her lifetime. AKA the most boring things because she's not even allowed to hug her fiance so lol k. They show her going skydiving with her mom and Jessa says, "Whose mom goes skydiving? I have the coolest mom."

Literally, no. No. You have the opposite of the coolest mom and I know you have never seen a TV or read a book or talked to anyone besides your siblings, but no, you don't have the coolest mom. Sry. I'm sorry. Sue me.

no. not cool.

While the girls are sitting in the cold on hard bleachers, watching a bunch of nonprofessional football players play football, all of the girls decide to sign a small pink football as a nice ~bachelorette party present~ for Jessa. Like lol k. What. Why. Who would want that. Even if I was marrying a football player, I wouldn't want that. Even if my wedding was on a football field, I wouldn't want that. Like, wut. This is the stupidest thing in the world.

They give it to her. Jessa looks less than thrilled and it's like, I get it. We get it.

Ben's mom talks to the camera for a little bit and she seems equally as annoying as Ben.

"The ladies are having a great time fellowshipping together." -Ben's mom, referring to the bachelorette party.

"Ben is really looking forward to the finish line." -Ben's mom, referring to idk, I don't want to think about it. I think we know what she's referring to, but like no. no. no.

Next episode they get married so yay I guess.

Josie word count this episode: 45 words too many

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