Thursday, July 16, 2015

19 Kids and Counting has been canceled, hold your tears

EVERYONE CALM YOUR TITS.

It's a very sad day in the Skinner household. And by that I mean, my father and mother are probably ecstatic I will no longer go to their house to watch 19 Kids and Counting because it is by far the worst show on television.

Yes, TLC has officially canceled the show, according to every media outlet in the Northern Hemisphere.

Why, you may ask.

You see, children, Josh Duggar, the eldest son of the 19 kids, used to molest his sisters and babysitter. We know this because the Holy Grail of horrible magazines, InTouch Weekly, found some court documents and exposed the truth.

r u uncomfortable.

Why is this bad, you may ask.

Well, not only did he molest his sisters and babysitter, but the Duggars are very, very, very well-known for being perfect. And by very, very, very well-known, I mean that's all they are known for.

It just kind of rubs people the wrong way when the Duggars are out campaigning to stop same-sex marriages and they have this huge secret.

People just don't like that.

Americans like honesty. They like flaws.

If the Duggars had come out and told this story before InTouch did, it would just be different.

What does this all mean, you may ask.

Well, for the Duggars- they will most likely continue to live their life in their huge mansion of a house and pushing for each child to get married ASAP so they can move out. There are still 16 kids living in the house, including Josie, who is the actual worst, and Jana, who hates her life.

For you- this means no more show.

For the blog- this means kill me because I have an entire label dedicated to the horribleness of the Duggars.

What show should I watch to fill the void, you may ask.

Catfish on MTV is effing hilarious. It's where these idiots fall in love with people over the Internet and then go to meet them in real life. Most of the time, it's a 55-year-old man pretending to be a 19-year-old hot chick and then the guy who fell in love is seriously p-i-s-s-e-d. But on one episode, the 18-year-old boy flies to Cali from Texas to discover the hot wrestling chick is really the hot wrestling chick she claimed to be. But then she meets him and is like, eh, I wanna be friends. Oh, man. So funny. Sry.

Will I ever see the Duggars again, you may ask.

Yes, in the Duggars' statement, they said something about a documentary etc etc etc. I don't know what that means. They will most likely sit down with Larry King and have a formal sit-down interview and hopefully it goes better than the one they did with Megyn Kelly because that was a trainwreck, and not the good kind of trainwreck with Amy Schumer. Oh, man, that joke was funny. Hold your applause.

And then if I had to really guess and bet on something, I would bet that the girls get their own show. Jessa, Jill, Jana, and Jinger. Two are married and the other two are pathetic and lonely sans men.

But what do you think, PMS, you may ask.

Listen, I'm sad I will no longer be able to blog about the show, but it really was the worst show on television. Michelle Duggar and her soft voice was annoying AF and Jim Bob was creepy AF. And the fact that the girls couldn't show their knees but could wear more makeup than a transsexual, just kind of blew my mind. AND JOSIE. God, the youngest of the kids was such an attention whore. Like, one episode she had a seizure and everyone freaked out and I was like omg, let's get back to the older girls teaching us how to make pickles because that's the interesting stuff.




Thoughts? Tell me. I'm sure you will. Click on the "duggars" category to your right for all the Duggar-related posts.


2 comments: