Sunday, July 5, 2015

I had the scariest case of sleep paralysis ever

S L E E P  P A R A L Y S I S  is scary.

I had the worst case of sleep paralysis today and I want everyone to hear about it and sympathize with me and then call 911 for someone to save me.

Definition: "Sleep paralysis is a phenomenon in which a person, either falling asleep or awakening, temporary awakening, temporarily experiences an inability to move, speak, or react. It is a transitional state between wakefulness and sleep, characterized by complete muscle (muscle weakness). It is often accompanied by terrifying hallucination (such as an intruder in the room) to which one is unable to react due to paralysis, and physical experiences (such as strong current running through the upper body)."

Setting: My sister's apartment because Kassidy and I were doing laundry.

The day started with us lying on the couch. We finally decided on something to watch on Netflix.

help.

I was falling asleep but it was hotter than balls in the living room. Halfway through my nap, I got up and headed to the bedroom to lay on the bed.

I laid face down with my arms underneath my body and legs.



My sister's cat jumped on top of the bed and started walking on me.

That's the last thing I remember until my sleep paralysis experience.

At one point, I guess my mind woke up but my body couldn't????? I just remember not being able to move. I could move my legs from my knee down but nothing else. I couldn't make any noise.

I heard Kassidy come out of the bathroom and thought she might see me.

She did but didn't want to wake me up, so she kept moving.

My mind felt awake at this point but I couldn't get anything to move. I started to try to make noises.

I thought I was yelling KASSIDY or HELP but in reality, I'm just making stretching noises.

Kassidy heard me but thought it was just the cat meowing or me just being really effing weird.

I then started to hit the bed with the bottom of the leg, hoping that will make enough of a sound for Kassidy to come and get me.

Nothing is working.

I keep trying to yell something but nothing is coming out.

At this point, I am confident I am dead. I start to think/dream that Kassidy left me and my body would never wake up.



Then I decided to give up. I've experienced sleep paralysis before but not like this. I figured if I just sleep through it, maybe I would feel better.

In a few minutes, I somehow mustered up enough strength to wake up. I got up and walked straight to the living room. I stood and stared at Kassidy.



This is her thought process of the moment:
Scott Disick is a jerk. Who even is Chloe... Oh god. Why is she yelling? Her face looks grey. Those dark circles could use some concealer. Is she sleep walking? Check her hands. Does she have anything sharp? No. Good. My God she is a weird color. I'm scared. Sit down. But not too close. Oh. That wasn't the cat? Shit. Sorry.
It took me about five minutes to wrap my head around what had happened. It was terrifying.

Possible Causes:

  • The cat walked on my back before falling asleep
  • I had fallen asleep to a documentary about skinny Russian models
  • I drank Coca-Cola with my lunch instead of Dr Pepper

Yeah, it was the Coke. I'm suing.

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