Friday, December 30, 2016

Spencer Pratt Q&A, 2016 is Wild

hire me for freelance photoshop work. TY.

This is a series where I ask famous people really stupid questions via Twitter DM. Brad Paisley was the first and now Spencer Pratt is the next victim. If you know someone who is famous, hook your girl up.

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

How Many Times In A Week Can I Run Into My Ex-Boyfriend And His Boyfriend In A Grocery Store?

Twice. The answer is twice.


Gay ex-boyfriend has just informed me that he and that guy are no longer dating, but he already had his Dallas trip planned, so he was there. Sigh, gay guys. Merry Christmas.

Monday, December 12, 2016

PMS's Christmas Gift Guide So Your Family Likes You

ho ho ho

Wow, can you believe it's already Christmas time. I can because my seasonal depression is in full swing and also it's December, so I'm expecting Christmas to be here on the 25th of this month. I don't mean to brag, but I'm pretty good with time/reading a calendar.

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

The moment I knew I hit rock bottom: Brett Eldredge

This is a Just PMSing original series titled "The moment I knew I hit rock bottom" where I tell y'all about some of my lowest moments. Don't feel sorry for me. Just laugh and buy me a drink. If you have a story you feel can top mine, then start your own blog.

If you're my boyfriend, stop reading right now.

Thank you.

There is no way to word the title because the rock bottom part is just Brett Eldredge. It's my newfound love for him. It's the multiple tweets a day I send to him. It's the Sunday I spent watching his music videos on repeat.


2014 me had no idea.

Sunday, December 4, 2016

I Moved, So Yes, Goodbye, Hot Neighbor

I moved and I no longer live by Hot Neighbor.

Goodbye to you, Hot Neighbor. Goodbye to you.

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

"Why haven't you been blogging?"

I know so many of you have been sinking into your annual winter depression because Just PMSing hasn't had as many blogs and I'm here to comfort you.

Comfort: I've just been doing other things, ok??????????????

  • writing for other publications
  • moving apartments (yes, I no longer live by Hot Neighbor, blog post on that coming soon)
Yeah, me and the girl behind It's Fine I'm Fine thought it would be funny (??) to make fun of fashion bloggers via a podcast?? So we did it. We recording a ton of sodes and are releasing them nice and slowly.

And also because Augusta (IFIF) is absolutely insane, she made a Tumblr and Facebook page for the podcast because, AND I QUOTE, "My nightmare is that we go viral and we don't have the proper tools to market."

We have 17 listens on our second sode podcast, so we're clearly viral.

Listen. Or don't. Whatever.

Here's sode 2 (my favorite):

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Fashion Blogger Podcast About Fashion And Lifestyle

I am 100 percent positive this is not funny to anyone but us, but go ahead and give it a listen and tell us what we can do better.

I love love.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

The moment I knew I hit rock bottom: Piss pants for Tay

This is a Just PMSing original series titled "The moment I knew I hit rock bottom" where I tell y'all about some of my lowest moments. Don't feel sorry for me. Just laugh and buy me a drink. If you have a story you feel can top mine, then start your own blog.

Hi there, faithful readers, friends, people who stumble upon this blog. I have a story that has the potential to make you really uncomfortable so here we go. I will regret this blog by tomorrow and most likely remove it.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

It's Hard Being As Chic As Me

I'm not kidding when I say shopping for fall stresses me out.

What is in style this season, what is Gigi Hadid wearing, how do I find the cheap version of what I really want, do I ask for it for my birthday, or for Christmas, do I still get birthday gifts, when does it end.

i would wear it you think i'm kidding

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

The moment I knew I hit rock bottom: Tim Allen as my phone background

This is a Just PMSing original series titled "The moment I knew I hit rock bottom" where I tell y'all about some of my lowest moments. Don't feel sorry for me. Just laugh and buy me a drink. If you have a story you feel can top mine, then start your own blog.

It was the middle of the afternoon at Gloria's in Addison, Texas. I was with some friends and my boyfriend enjoying a margarita swirl and chips and bean dip. I had no idea what the swirl margarita consisted of, but I do know after four sips, I was drunk.

Monday, October 3, 2016

I Watched The Amanda Knox Documentary Twice And I Still Have Questions

Yes, you read that right. TWICE. Once alone and then once again with my roommate who paused it every few minutes to go off on slut-shaming. I was like can you not and just watch the documentary.

But I still have questions. That I need answered. Thank you.

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Hot Neighbor Wants Me To Know That He Wants A Fox

this is not Hot Neighbor. this is a random dude on reddit and i blurred out his face. imagine HN instead.

It happened suddenly. It was a normal Sunday night and yet it was everything but normal. Within a second, everything changed.

Approximately 9:20 p.m. Sunday night
My phone lit up with a notification. It was Hot Neighbor. I opened it. I saw a long link. Was it spam. I skimmed the words in the link. I recognized zero of the words. I took a deep breath. I clicked on the link. I closed my eyes.

Monday, September 19, 2016

Would I Date Burke Ramsey Today And Other Questions I Have Regarding Jonbenet

Last night, the 305th Jonbenet Ramsey special aired and I don't even know the title of what it was called, I don't know the hashtag for the event, I know nothing, yet I know so much and yet, I still have questions.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Brad Paisley And I Are Just Alike: We Both Have Gay Exes

he had no idea.

Some people you just connect with. Sometimes you meet a person and you're like wow, we have so much in common. That's what happened when I read Brad Paisley's Wikipedia page. Let me explain.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

All Men Are Gay; I Know This Because I Have A Gay Ex-Boyfriend

i hate glee.

I want you to settle down. Yes, you, poor girl reading this blog. I know that boy you love isn't texting you back and I know you are upset about it. I know because I was once you.

But now I'm older and wiser and prettier and I have advice for you.

It's fine because he's gay.

Friday, September 9, 2016

I Have A Gay Ex-Boyfriend And I Finally Have Permission To Blog About Him

I have spent the past year hoarding a big, big secret. I have a gay ex-boyfriend.

Not many people know this about me except literally everyone I've ever talked to. I've told family, friends, my Uber driver, my co-workers, God, all the Housewives. Everyone knows.

Except I haven't been allowed to write about it per request from the actual gay ex-boyfriend. But now I have permission. It's been one year since he came out to me and I have so many blog ideas in my drafts. Here they are are you ready they're coming:

Thursday, September 8, 2016

20 Simple Questions To Answer In The Whataburger Drive-Thru

You have a one-hour lunch break. But will that be enough time to answer all the questions your local Whataburger attendant has for you? Is it???? Can you do it???? Do you have it in you???

Listen. I love a friendly drive-thru salesperson. They make the dreaded waiting-in-my-hot-car-for-a-burger event much more enjoyable. But I've been prescribed anti-depressants in fewer questions than ordering a #7 at Whataburger and this is my blog and I want to complain about it.

BUT DO NOT FEAR, AMERICA actually just texas. Here is a handy guide to help you prepare for your next trip to waterburger.

Monday, August 29, 2016

My Friends Asked A Man In A Batman Bowtie To Rank Us Prettiest To Least And Now They're Mad And I Don't See Why Because I Got First

You know how every friend group secretly wonders which of the friends is the prettiest. You know. They ponder, What do guys think. What do other women think. What are our parents' friends on Facebook really thinking behind the 'you're so pretty' comment. Do they mean it. If only we could have a random stranger tell us the straight-up truth in a setting such as a bar.

Friday, August 19, 2016

I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman; I'm An Empathetic Lady

I don't mean to be dramatic, but yesterday, I experienced a new emotion and I am not the same person.

I'm not a girl, not yet a woman, I'm an empathetic lady.

Saturday, August 6, 2016

How To Convince Your Boyfriend You Wanna See The New Chris Pine Movie For The Plot

It's a typical evening at home with bae when the preview for the hottest blockbuster of the summer* comes on and you must remain calm.

*It's a move literally no one has ever heard of, but it has the best actor of your generation in it.**

**He has never been in a movie worth a damn but damn, look at him.


Monday, August 1, 2016

The Bachelorette Season Finale: Keep Dallas Pretentious

spoiler alert jojo picks jordan and they're moving to dallas.

Whether this is the only recap you're reading or the fifth recap you're reading, we can all agree that we hate our lives. That's unanimous. This was a long, tough season filled with love and heartbreak and boobs and Chad and I am v glad it's over. I missed a few episodes because it was so boring, but I decided to end with a bang.

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Where are The Bachelorette blogs?


I wish I was better. I wish it was easier. I wish I didn't hate Jordan and Robby and JoJo's choice in men. I wish things were different.

I tried blogging the hometown dates. I tried really, really hard. This is what happened:

Then I tried blogging the overnight dates episode. I tried even harder for that one. This is what happened:

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

This Week In Cyber Bullying

Wouldn't it be funny if this was a reoccurring series I had? Where I just tracked all the cyber-bullying going on in the world? Wouldn't it tho? Wouldn't it?????????????????????

Calvin cyber-bullies Tay

cannot believe tay dated a dj

Everyone is always asking me, PMS, how do you stay so beautiful and witty and humble and PMS, is that your real hair, and PMS, what do you think about Calvin and Taylor Swift? I think Calvin has always been a giant a$$hole and I was shocked when Tay started dating him but underwear model amirite.

Monday, July 18, 2016

The moment I knew I hit rock bottom: Sonic alone in my car

This is a Just PMSing original series titled "The moment I knew I hit rock bottom" where I tell y'all about some of my lowest moments. Don't feel sorry for me. Just laugh and buy me a drink. If you have a story you feel can top mine, then start your own blog.

Did you think I had permanently escaped rock bottom??? Did you think, oh, something terrific must have happened to this blogger and now she doesn't ever visit rock bottom anymore???

Why I think that's mostly true (the past few months have been good compared to other previous months), I want everyone to know that I just spent my lunch break eating Sonic alone in my car because it's Monday and the world hates Taylor Swift and what else are you supposed to do on a Monday when the world hates Taylor Swift.

And while there's nothing crazy about that, I want you to know I didn't actually eat lunch. I ate a Fudge Brownie Molten Cake Sundae because I thought it would taste similar to Chili's molten cakes. But it didn't.

It tasted like an old brownie was heated up in a microwave and they topped it with soft-serve ice cream from a machine. It was no Blue Bell, let me tell you that. It tasted like the realization that Taylor Swift lied and that she's not a robot. It tasted like the feeling you get in your stomach when two of your favorite female celebrities are fighting. It tasted like the gross realization that Kanye West didn't lie. It tasted like the end of the world.

Sunday, July 17, 2016

GUEST POST: Ghosts of College Roommates Past

This is a guest post by my friend Mack. He sent me this post back when I blogged about my roommate drama and I swore I would publish it and then I never did and he never stopped asking me about it, so finally I was like ok, I will do it. Now he's thinking about starting his own blog but wants to get his feet wet first with this. So read it and tell him if he's funny enough for his own blog.

Freshman year. Fall of 2010.
I was stoned out of my mind so I went to a community college in my hometown. I was fortunate enough that I didn’t have to waste any expense on dorms my first year. So I can’t really talk shit about my roommates. My parents were very kind to me.

Friday, July 15, 2016

He's too busy catching Pokemon instead of feelings

It's 6:23 p.m. Thursday night. Brad arrives at my apartment and sits down on the couch.

"Your apartment doesn't have any Pokemons."


He lifts his phone back up.

"Oh, there's one in your bedroom."

Thursday, July 14, 2016

FAQ: How To Become A Famous Blogger

I’m sad to say that literally no one has ever asked me for blogging advice. I’ve been blogging for more than a year. Heck, maybe even more than two years and I’ve been saying equally-as-ignorant stuff out loud for far longer than that. So the fact that no one has said, PMS, how do you do all that you do, is baffling to me.

Because I take not being accepted into the world of “bloggers who do FAQs” so well, I decided to force my friend Mack, who is thinking about starting his own blog, to ask me questions he has about blogging.

Sassy at IFIF and I at PMS answered all your (Mack's) burning questions.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

The Bachelorette Episode 7: There's gonna be a heartache tonight

I'm sorry this is a day late, but at the same time, you need to realize I was doing the Lord's work and reviewing a 98 Degrees concert last night. Yes, 98 Degrees.

Feel sorry for me.

I also really want to watch Difficult People right now, but instead, I'm doing this.

Feel sorry for me.

I also haven't eaten dinner yet, but I will go on for the four people who read these recaps.

Feel sorry for me.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Who Am I: Haircut Edition

As I'm sitting in Salon Pompeo surrounded my Uptown's most pretentious, listening to a gay hairdresser complain about his best friend, I am startled to see my hair fall to the ground.

This is nothing new. I mean I knew I was at the hair salon and I knew the hairdresser was going to cut my hair. In fact, I'm a big fan of haircuts. And this haircut was substantial enough. Not as crazy as the time I cut off 12 inches and gave it to the cancer patients. I'm not going to say I'm a hero to the sick, but I'll let you say it.

Friday, July 8, 2016

Why Would Anyone Think I'm A Southern Belle, An Investigation

paige o'hara. photoshop by sassy neal at

11:37 a.m. Saturday, June 18, IHOP, Frisco, Texas

"You're the most southern belle girl I've ever dated." -my boyfriend


Tuesday, July 5, 2016

What A Guy's Celeb Crush Says About Him And Ways To Subtly Knock Her Down

Here's a fun game to play: Ask every male ever who their celebrity crush is and watch your confidence shrink to nothing. "OH you like Aubrey Plaza??? So you like mean girls?? So what is it exactly you like about me," you'll ask your boyfriend one million times before he breaks up with you/commits suicide (same thing).

But celebrity crushes are always going to be a thing. Even when Adam and Eve were around, Adam lusted after other, more famous women. That was actually the original sin, but society chooses to recognize Eve eating the apple as the first sin. I'm so sorry for this blog already.

Monday, July 4, 2016

How Baby Boomers Think You Live Versus How You Actually Live

My friends and I do this thing where we call anyone just a little bit older than us a Baby Boomer. And then we also use it as an insult. If a friend does something "wrong" on social media, we call them a Baby Boomer. If one of us wears a shirt we deem "ugly," we call that shirt-wearer a Baby Boomer.

Also none of this has to do with this blog post really, but I thought I would go ahead and say it. Thanks 4 reading.

But Baby Boomers. You work with them. You share a Starbucks line with them. You might live with them. They are everywhere.

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

The Bachelorette Episode 6: I didn't even watch, but everybody is always wrong

I'm not going to sit here behind a computer screen and pretend I watched the last episode of The Bachelorette. I am a lot of things, but I'm not a liar. If you want to read a Bachelorette recap, read it literally anywhere else on the Internet. My friend Sassy writes a funny one here. I read it too and I have the internet, so I know what happened. And I'm not pleased. I'm angry in fact. Because once a Bachelorette season, I fall in love with a contestant. Let's take a look at PMS's favorites.

Jef from Emily's Season


Sunday, June 26, 2016

A Story About A Girl Picked To Tell A Story

This blog. What a journey it has been. There have been highs and lows and middles and some redesigns and do you think I'm about to tell you I'm quitting blogging? No, why would you think that. The title has nothing to do with that, so of course you wouldn't think that. OK, where was I going. YES, THIS BLOG.

The blog has been mainly stupid but occasionally you get a Facebook message asking you to tell a story from it out loud, in front of breathing human beings, and sometimes it causes so much stress, your hair actually falls out.

Of course, when I say you in all of this, I really mean me, because that's something that happened to me. Yes, actual me. PMS, as they call me. They, as in my friends.

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

The Bachelorette Episode 5: JoJo is all of us

Wow, I'm so glad everyone stopped their busy schedules to read this recap that's a day old. Sometimes I come home from work on a Monday and I don't even want to watch The Bachelorette, much less make my fingers type something about it.

So I ate chips and watched The Challenge instead.

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Hello, it's me. Blogging from hell.

Hell (n.) is where you go when you die because on earth, you denied Jesus as your Lord and Savior. This is a Christian blog now. I'm a children's pastor now.

Hell on earth (n.) is my apartment with a broken air conditioner.

Thanks for your prayers in advance.

Friday, June 10, 2016

The Bachelorette Episode 4: JoJo is a cool girl who wears a bikini


Tuesday, June 7, 2016

The Bachelorette Episode 3: Do I hate JoJo

i stole this from twitter im sorry wat do u want from me
Greetings, love children. I am sorry this is a day late. I have no excuse besides I just didn't feel like watching it last night. But then I received a comment on my episode 2 recap that really motivated me, so here I am.

P.S. Blogging a TV show really, really, really makes you hate the TV show. But here I am. Doing it. For the people.


Friday, June 3, 2016

Taylor Swift lyrics to help Taylor Swift get through her breakup

It was a People Magazine notification heard round the world. Where were you when your friend group texted your Ride or Die group text with the fatal words...

I was applying deodorant, getting ready to go to my favorite Mexican restaurant in town. I had spent all day at work, participating in child labor, and all I wanted was a frozen margarita with salt, make that a double, I'm not high-maintenance.

But when life throws you curveballs, you gotta hit them anyway. I'm talking to you, Taylor, I think. I'm talking to anyone who will listen.

Taylor, I know you're not reading this, but pretend you are. Here are some Taylor Swift Lyrics To Help Taylor Swift Get Through Her Breakup. I'm clever.

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

How To Lose A Guy In 10 minutes

*the person I went on the date with wanted me to title it that, so*

This is a story of how to lose a date in 10 minutes. This is a story of seeing real-life breathing reality stars in the flesh in public. This is my story.

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

If I were to...

... tell a story from this blog out loud, in front of people, actual breathing, real-life, judging humans, which one would you want to hear?

I know you have just been DYING to hear me tell one of my stories live in-person, so let's hear it. C'mon. Someone. Anyone. This is sad.

Tweet me, FB me, text me, call me (don't call me).

Monday, May 30, 2016

The Bachelorette Episode 2: JoJo has been on the Internet like once

Hi. I just drank a Gloria's margarita. I'm a lil drunk. Wells and James Taylor are hot. These are my drunken thoughts.

Let's get started with this episode. I'm excited. Who's ready. I'm not. Ok.

Monday, May 23, 2016

The Bachelorette Episode 1: JoJo has never been on the Internet

i stole this idea from i have no original thots

Everyone take my hand.

What I'm about to do no other blog has done before. I'm going to recap The Bachelorette.

OK, so like every other blog on the planet recaps this show and some are funny and some are really unfunny. I wanted my friend at to do it, but she refused, so now I'm doing it.

For the country.

For the troops.

I'm basically Bob Hope.

Also Hot Neighbor is here watching it with me. He spilled his red wine. He's nervous.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Don't Trust The B****** In Apt 119

Everyone has a roommate from hell story and yet everyone is wrong. I shouldn't even be writing this blog. I shouldn't even be entertaining the idea of writing this blog. But it's been almost three years since I moved out of that apartment. And to top it off, both of the roommates I'm about to blog about deleted me from Facebook. It's like the universe wants me to blog about my time at apartment 119.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

I love Bobby Bones and I wish he would love me back

This is a story about a girl who loves a man: Bobby Bones.

I don't even know how or why it happened. Bobby Bones is a radio DJ based out of Nashville. He plays country music and interviews country music stars. He is syndicated, so he played on 96.3 in Lubbock. Every morning I would drive to school and listen to him.

This is unusual because I dislike morning radio shows. I never listened to Kidd Kraddick growing up because it annoyed me. So the fact I found a morning talk show I could enjoy was unique.

And somehow I fell in love with Bobby. He's single, he's attractive, he's successful and he was a nerd growing up. There is nothing PMS loves more than a man who was once bullied. It's why I love feminine men so much. If you were feminine growing up, then you were most likely bullied, meaning you are probably smarter and wittier and tougher now as an adult. So because Bobby was poor and ugly growing up, he's smart and witty now. ok.

A timeline of my attempts to get Bobby Bones to notice me:

Thursday, May 12, 2016

All The Douchey Men of The Bachelorette

There was a time when I was drunk at Texas Roadhouse in Garland, Texas, when I was begging my friend at to blog The Bachelorette.

She said no.

I said oh.

She said you do it.

I drunkenly said ok.

So here we are. I am going to attempt to blog this season of The Bachelorette featuring none other than our fellow Dallas girl JoJo Fletcher.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

The moment I knew I hit rock bottom: Cheesecake Factory for Mothers' Day

This is a Just PMSing original series titled "The moment I knew I hit rock bottom" where I tell y'all about some of my lowest moments. Don't feel sorry for me. Just laugh and buy me a drink. If you have a story you feel can top mine, then start your own blog. 

It was Mothers' Day 2016 and I had spent the day spent a few hours with my mother and grandmother at lunch at Jake's.

Then I went over to my sister's and did laundry.

All of this can be filed under the Lord's work. Spending time with family, cleaning my clothes, etc. So I was planning to continue the Lord's work, but not really the Lord's work, I was just going to go to church at the 5 p.m. service.

Saturday, May 7, 2016

A Mothers' Day post because no other blog has one yet

This is a groundbreaking blog because today as you scroll Facebook and Twitter, there will be no other mention of Mothers' Day and how everyone has the greatest mother in the world and no fashion blog will dedicate an entire post to fashion tips they picked up from their mother and there will be no think-pieces on the importance of mothers and '5 Lessons My Mother Taught Me That Stayed With Me Forever' and this holiday is generally overlooked.

Also, I don't know if it's Mother's Day, Mothers' Day, or Mothers Day, so someone with enough money to afford a new AP Style book every year, pull it out and tell me because I'm dying to know.

I also really want to see the new Mother's Day movie because of how bad it looks, and you know what, is anyone still reading this blog.


Thursday, May 5, 2016

How to fake it as a Beyonce fan

There are two types of people in the world. Taylor Swift fans and Beyonce fans. These fans rarely share a circle in a Venn diagram. I'm also not positive that's what the diagram is called, but you know what, googling is hard. Now, don't get me wrong. Taylor Swift fans respect Beyonce. We will always remember Sept. 13, 2009. The day Kanye interrupted Tay and then Bey won the award and then Bey called Tay out on stage to let her have a moment oh wow getting emotional just thinking about it.

I can't speak for whether Beyonce fans respect Taylor Swift, however, because calling myself a Bey fan is a bit of a stretch. But I've faked it for many years because I have friends who worship her and honestly I'm just scared of her fanbase, the Beyhive.

Thursday, April 28, 2016


my dad and me.


It's my dad's birthday soon, so happy bday, Dad. My friends call him Ice, though, for reasons I'm literally too lazy to type out, but in honor of his birthday, I thought I would offer up some #ICEadvice.

Please get that trending.


These are just little things my father has taught me through the years, blah blah blah, I hope someone besides my dad is still reading this. I'll try not to make it mushy or sappy, but funny. Bear with me, you can do this, #ICEadvice.

Also I texted my dad and asked him to send me a pic of him and me and he sent me these:

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

200th Post

This is my 200th published post.


That means there are plenty of half-ass written posts sitting in my drafts folder that are either not funny enough to post or there is just not enough of a story there.

Friday, April 22, 2016

Tay wore white to another person's wedding and I respect that

For someone who has sooooo many girlfriends, this is like rule no. 1. Don't wear white to someone else's wedding.

This is Taylor's second crime in the 'being a guest to a wedding' department.

Tuesday, April 19, 2016


I met a man named Patrick on Saturday night and after he told me he respected my sense of humor, I ran this blog post idea past him and he liked it. So if you think this blog is especially stupid, take it up with Patrick, not me. I don't have Patrick's contact info, but I know his name is Patrick, he works as a Nike store manager, he lives in Uptown, and he told me his name was Jimmy at the beginning of the night. It's amazing what I can remember even after three beers and three sleeps.