Monday, March 7, 2016

A girl threatened to punch me in the face Saturday night

There really isn't much of a story. Honestly, it could be summed up with that one text, but let's go ahead and answer your questions you probably have.

What is "tute?"
I didn't actually call the guy cute. I called him tute. Tute is a word that means cute and it's a word my friend KT often calls her dog named Baby Dex. "You're so tute!!!" she says to him daily, hourly, secondly.

So the rest of the friend group quickly adopted this word and use it for everything. That is tute. She is tute. You are tute.

So, what happened exactly?
I was in a bar in Uptown because I'm a college frat guy and also because my friends made me. I was walking up the stairs when I spotted a male and just like word vomit, I said, "You are tute!" I also pointed at him while saying this.

He smiled, but his "girlfriend" did not.

I don't know if she was his girlfriend or his sister or just an overprotective friend, but I hate her. Why do I hate her? Because if a random drunk girl called my boyfriend "tute" or "cute" or anything, I would say, yes, I know, that's why I'm dating him and then I would feel really good about myself for dating a guy who is tute enough to get hit on.

So when I said her bf was tute, she said, "You wanna get punched????" And I think I said yes and walked away.

Are you, like, ok?
Yes, I am ok. I am choosing to take this experience and blog about it to bring attention to mean girls everywhere. It's really brave of me and I'm glad to have the support of my community. Thank you. Buy me a meal to show how much you appreciate me.

But, like, was he tute?
Listen. I don't know. I don't remember what he looks like, but if I had to guess he probably had a beard and was probably a little feminine because we know that's what PMS likes.

Was she serious about punching you?
She looked serious from what I remember, but who knows. Honestly, it sounds like something I would say and then I would hug the girl and say JUST KIDDING and then we would bond over how tute my boyfriend is. But I'm different. I'm not like other girls. I'm a cool girl.

Do you think you should stop hitting on girls' boyfriends?
One, I didn't know he had a girlfriend. Two, no.