Monday, April 18, 2016

Winston and Chloe and my roommate's sanity



L I F E  L A T E L Y

You know bloggers who post a new blog and it's titled "Life Lately" and it's really annoying because it's not original at all and you feel sorry for them because you know no one will respect them? I can say this because people really respect a blog called "Just PMSing."

Anyway, I just have a really funny, adorable story to share, so everyone strap in because I already hate this post and I haven't even hit publish yet.

I'm so sorry.

My roommate's dog, let's call him Winston, is precious.

But the other night, my friend Cayla was drunk in my home and looking for something to wear. All of my clothes were dirty and on the floor, so she went to my roommate's closet and pulled out the most awful vest ever.

Listen, it was in style at some point. 2013 was hard for everyone, I'm not here to judge. But it's one of those sleeveless fur vests that all the girls wore but in 2016 light, it's pretty tragic. So Cayla drunkenly threw it off and to the ground because what is a clean apartment. What is respect for your clothes. What is picking up after anything.

And then later that night, my roommate and I got home and Winston was carrying around the fur vest in his mouth, like I'm not making this up, and it was the cutest thing to ever happen to anything. Ever.

So, now, somehow, because he's literally a genius dog that other dogs will one day study, we have taught him to go get the fur vest anytime we say, "Winston, go get your baby." Like, we say that and off goes this big dog and he finds the fur vest, picks it up with his mouth, and brings it back to us.

IT'S BLURRY HE MOVES A LOT GET OVER IT

And then to take it one step further, my roommate decided to name the fur vest for Winston. Like, we are pretending Winston is a new father, who has adopted this fur vest as his child and he named it Chloe.

"I don't know. I just feel like a lot of Millennials are naming their daughters Chloe right now, so I figured Winston would probably do the same." 

That's an actual quote from my actual roommate and I could not make this up if I actually tried. Like, I was going along with the whole 'Winston has a baby and that baby is a fur vest' and then my roommate was like, 'No, Winston can't have a baby and that baby can't be a fur vest and it can't not have a name. Let's name it.' So here we are. I'm scared.

But, umm, yeah, rip that vest, rip 2013, rip my roommate's sanity.


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