Tuesday, May 31, 2016

If I were to...

... tell a story from this blog out loud, in front of people, actual breathing, real-life, judging humans, which one would you want to hear?

I know you have just been DYING to hear me tell one of my stories live in-person, so let's hear it. C'mon. Someone. Anyone. This is sad.

Tweet me, FB me, text me, call me (don't call me).

Monday, May 30, 2016

The Bachelorette Episode 2: JoJo has been on the Internet like once

Hi. I just drank a Gloria's margarita. I'm a lil drunk. Wells and James Taylor are hot. These are my drunken thoughts.

Let's get started with this episode. I'm excited. Who's ready. I'm not. Ok.

Monday, May 23, 2016

The Bachelorette Episode 1: JoJo has never been on the Internet

i stole this idea from itsfineimfine.com i have no original thots

Everyone take my hand.

What I'm about to do no other blog has done before. I'm going to recap The Bachelorette.

OK, so like every other blog on the planet recaps this show and some are funny and some are really unfunny. I wanted my friend at itsfineimfine.com to do it, but she refused, so now I'm doing it.

For the country.

For the troops.

I'm basically Bob Hope.

Also Hot Neighbor is here watching it with me. He spilled his red wine. He's nervous.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Don't Trust The B****** In Apt 119

Everyone has a roommate from hell story and yet everyone is wrong. I shouldn't even be writing this blog. I shouldn't even be entertaining the idea of writing this blog. But it's been almost three years since I moved out of that apartment. And to top it off, both of the roommates I'm about to blog about deleted me from Facebook. It's like the universe wants me to blog about my time at apartment 119.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

I love Bobby Bones and I wish he would love me back

This is a story about a girl who loves a man: Bobby Bones.

I don't even know how or why it happened. Bobby Bones is a radio DJ based out of Nashville. He plays country music and interviews country music stars. He is syndicated, so he played on 96.3 in Lubbock. Every morning I would drive to school and listen to him.

This is unusual because I dislike morning radio shows. I never listened to Kidd Kraddick growing up because it annoyed me. So the fact I found a morning talk show I could enjoy was unique.

And somehow I fell in love with Bobby. He's single, he's attractive, he's successful and he was a nerd growing up. There is nothing PMS loves more than a man who was once bullied. It's why I love feminine men so much. If you were feminine growing up, then you were most likely bullied, meaning you are probably smarter and wittier and tougher now as an adult. So because Bobby was poor and ugly growing up, he's smart and witty now. ok.

A timeline of my attempts to get Bobby Bones to notice me:

Thursday, May 12, 2016

All The Douchey Men of The Bachelorette

There was a time when I was drunk at Texas Roadhouse in Garland, Texas, when I was begging my friend at itsfineimfine.com to blog The Bachelorette.

She said no.

I said oh.

She said you do it.

I drunkenly said ok.

So here we are. I am going to attempt to blog this season of The Bachelorette featuring none other than our fellow Dallas girl JoJo Fletcher.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

The moment I knew I hit rock bottom: Cheesecake Factory for Mothers' Day

This is a Just PMSing original series titled "The moment I knew I hit rock bottom" where I tell y'all about some of my lowest moments. Don't feel sorry for me. Just laugh and buy me a drink. If you have a story you feel can top mine, then start your own blog. 

It was Mothers' Day 2016 and I had spent the day spent a few hours with my mother and grandmother at lunch at Jake's.

Then I went over to my sister's and did laundry.

All of this can be filed under the Lord's work. Spending time with family, cleaning my clothes, etc. So I was planning to continue the Lord's work, but not really the Lord's work, I was just going to go to church at the 5 p.m. service.

Saturday, May 7, 2016

A Mothers' Day post because no other blog has one yet

This is a groundbreaking blog because today as you scroll Facebook and Twitter, there will be no other mention of Mothers' Day and how everyone has the greatest mother in the world and no fashion blog will dedicate an entire post to fashion tips they picked up from their mother and there will be no think-pieces on the importance of mothers and '5 Lessons My Mother Taught Me That Stayed With Me Forever' and this holiday is generally overlooked.

Also, I don't know if it's Mother's Day, Mothers' Day, or Mothers Day, so someone with enough money to afford a new AP Style book every year, pull it out and tell me because I'm dying to know.

I also really want to see the new Mother's Day movie because of how bad it looks, and you know what, is anyone still reading this blog.


Thursday, May 5, 2016

How to fake it as a Beyonce fan

There are two types of people in the world. Taylor Swift fans and Beyonce fans. These fans rarely share a circle in a Venn diagram. I'm also not positive that's what the diagram is called, but you know what, googling is hard. Now, don't get me wrong. Taylor Swift fans respect Beyonce. We will always remember Sept. 13, 2009. The day Kanye interrupted Tay and then Bey won the award and then Bey called Tay out on stage to let her have a moment oh wow getting emotional just thinking about it.

I can't speak for whether Beyonce fans respect Taylor Swift, however, because calling myself a Bey fan is a bit of a stretch. But I've faked it for many years because I have friends who worship her and honestly I'm just scared of her fanbase, the Beyhive.