Saturday, May 7, 2016

A Mothers' Day post because no other blog has one yet


This is a groundbreaking blog because today as you scroll Facebook and Twitter, there will be no other mention of Mothers' Day and how everyone has the greatest mother in the world and no fashion blog will dedicate an entire post to fashion tips they picked up from their mother and there will be no think-pieces on the importance of mothers and '5 Lessons My Mother Taught Me That Stayed With Me Forever' and this holiday is generally overlooked.

Also, I don't know if it's Mother's Day, Mothers' Day, or Mothers Day, so someone with enough money to afford a new AP Style book every year, pull it out and tell me because I'm dying to know.

I also really want to see the new Mother's Day movie because of how bad it looks, and you know what, is anyone still reading this blog.

OKAY YES, MOM, YOU ARE. HELLO, CHERYL.

Cheryl is my mom and the nice thing about moms is they teach you how to be a strong, independent black woman. (My mom will not get that joke, so I will have to explain it to her in a few hours when I see her at lunch, everyone pray for me.)

SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE ARE SOME WAYS CHERYL MADE ME A STRONG, INDEPENDENT WOMAN.

She made me do laundry
I have been doing my own laundry since I was 6 years old and yet, I still don't separate my whites from the darks because yolo. But I can remember in the first grade not having any clean clothes and being like omg I forgot to do my laundry. IS THAT CHILD ABUSE OR PARENTING, YOU DECIDE, READERS.

She made me pack my own bag for a trip to Hawaii when I was 6 years old



wearing a swimsuit in the mountains, i'm fine.

Wow, 6 is the magic number, I guess. Most parents wait until their kid is 18 to really shove them out of their life, but after six years, my mother just couldn't take it anymore, I guess, what is unconditional love. Anyway, I know I've told this story before on this blog, but buck up because here it is again. My family went on a trip to Hawaii when I was in kindergarten — KINDERGARTEN — and my mother made me pack for myself and do you know what happens when a mother makes a 6-year-old pack for herself. She packs herself Tweety Bird overalls, a swimsuit, and no underwear. SOMEONE CALL ACTUAL CPS.

I starved
Listen, my mother doesn't cook or clean, but she provided in different ways, so this is a feminism blog now. But anytime my father was out of town, my mother and I would have to feed ourselves and listen, I'm not going to say we starved, but I'm not going to say we ate either. We typically ate ice cream for dinner because that doesn't take a lot of cooking. I still sometimes eat ice cream for dinner to this day. This isn't really a good example of being a strong, independent woman considering we went into panic mode when my dad went out of town, but that goes to show you, it takes two to tango or something.

She taught me money
And yet I still spend $10 on a bottle of nail polish, so I'm a great student. But I always had an allowance growing up and that was that. There was no asking for money or over-spending money or anything funny like that. I had a certain amount of money in my froggy piggy bank and I could do what I wanted with it. Whatever I wanted-- toys, Barbies, clothes, drugs, etc. It was my money and she taught me to save it for the important stuff-- ice cream for dinner.

"Wear short dresses while you still have legs."
Wow, this has nothing to do with anything, but whatever. Cheryl has always told me to wear short dresses while I still have legs and it's why I never wear long skirts because you know what, I won't have these bruised-up legs forever. (just saw photos of me from a wedding where i have a giant bruise on my legs and it's like well that's funny because i don't do anything physical ever and i guess photoshop is just something wedding photographers like to say they have but don't actually use, it's fine. i'm not mad.)

(i made this mothers' day post about me, you're welcome.)

That's it, that's everything, happy mother's day, cheryl. happy mother's day, all moms. y'all are cool.

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