Sunday, June 19, 2016

Hello, it's me. Blogging from hell.


Hell (n.) is where you go when you die because on earth, you denied Jesus as your Lord and Savior. This is a Christian blog now. I'm a children's pastor now.

Hell on earth (n.) is my apartment with a broken air conditioner.

Thanks for your prayers in advance.

Yes, it's me. I'm sweating, but I'm still under my comforter because I'm weird, and I'm inside an apartment with a broken air conditioner.

It was 5:47 p.m. Thursday when I came home to a makeshift air thing in my living room. There was a business card on the couch with a note that said our air conditioner was broken and they needed to find a part to replace.

coits

It was 5:48 p.m. Thursday when the first tear rolled down my cheek in months.



It was 5:49 p.m. Thursday when I texted my roommate.


Here's some background information on me. I can't do heat. I hate the outdoors all year long, but during the summer, I rarely step outside. I don't know why I live in Texas either. But anything hotter than 65 degrees is too hot. Oh, I also occasionally pass out when I'm too hot. Places I've passed out:
  • Six Flags Over Texas waiting in line for the ship ride
  • My friend's front yard playing
  • A Texas Tech game when I was like 12 (THIS WAS FALL TIME IN LUBBOCK NOT EVEN THAT HOT IT'S FINE)
  • Six Flags again, waiting in line for the Titan (haha i hate six flags haha i'm not laughing tho)
  • A hospital (wasn't because i was hot, but because i can't do hospitals, i'm dainty, it's fine)
  • One time I passed out while eating fried chicken because my tooth died (???) and I saw blood and passed out. Not heat-related, but I just wanna make a point
  • Also, one time in college I was super sick and dehydrated and passed out and went to the emergency room, seriously, i'm not a baby, why would you say that.
  • One time after drill team practice in the locker room. haha high kick practice amirite
SO IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING, JUST WITH SOME NICE BULLET POINTS, THAT I DON'T DO HEAT WELL. SO DON'T CROSS ME WITH THAT SHIT.

So la la la, getting through Thursday was fine, then Friday hit me like a damn bus because all of a sudden it was 80 degrees in our living room and it took us awhile to figure out we should probably close the blinds. Anyway, I was set to attend a fashion show Friday night. I called the Uber and when he got here I asked to sit in the front seat because I wanted the air that badly.

Then I tweeted about the Uber driver's song choice and BP RTed me, shameless plug, whatever.

Then I get to the fashion show and SEE THAT IT'S OUTSIDE. IT'S OUTDOORS. IT'S JUNE IN TEXAS AND SOME FASHION DESIGNER WAS LIKE YEAH LET'S DO IT OUTSIDE. I cursed the entire time and chugged two bottles of water.

Then I made Brad pick me up and asked to go see Finding Dory just so I could sit in a cool movie theater. I didn't even like Finding Nemo so of course I didn't like Finding Dory, but the air conditioning, I would give an A+.

I hate summertime and I hate living with no air and bye, I'm going to get Braums.

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