Monday, July 4, 2016

How Baby Boomers Think You Live Versus How You Actually Live

My friends and I do this thing where we call anyone just a little bit older than us a Baby Boomer. And then we also use it as an insult. If a friend does something "wrong" on social media, we call them a Baby Boomer. If one of us wears a shirt we deem "ugly," we call that shirt-wearer a Baby Boomer.

Also none of this has to do with this blog post really, but I thought I would go ahead and say it. Thanks 4 reading.

But Baby Boomers. You work with them. You share a Starbucks line with them. You might live with them. They are everywhere.

And yet they have a wild idea of how we, Millennials, or young people, live. They view young people as wild n out n crazy. And it's not Baby Boomer specific, it's really just any generation that's older sees young people and just assumes that are we setting gas stations on fire and voting blindly for the Democratic party.

SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, ARE YOU READY??? HOW BABY BOOMERS THINK YOU LIVE VERSUS HOW YOU ACTUALLY LIVE (assuming you, as in you reading this, is a young person ok):

"You should be going out every single night of the week." -co-worker, who is not a Baby Boomer, but older than me.

I love this one. I love it for so many reasons. One, because I, like the older person, have a job where I actually have to wake up in the morning and then not fall asleep at my desk. Why you think I don't go to bed every night at 9 p.m. is beyond me. I actually need 10 hours of sleep per night just to function the next day. Second, I love this because why in the world do you think I have more than $14 in my bank account at any given moment? Going out isn't cheap. Which leads me to the next one...

"I bet you don't pay for a single drink when you go out. And then I bet you go home alone." -co-worker, who is actually a Baby Boomer

This one makes me sounds like such a successful tease, so I don't actually deny it. Instead I just soft smile and pretend that it's true because it's so flattering that I don't want to deny it, just in case by not denying it I'm sending out vibes into the Universe so then it becomes true. The idea that I go out and flirt so well that men and women buy me drinks all night long and then I'm so skillful to drink the drink and not even give out my number-- that's Navy Seal-level shit that I'm not capable of, but, like, thank you. Bless you and your children.

"I bet guys are asking you out left and right." -co-worker, who looks old enough to be a Baby Boomer, but I'm pretty sure they are not.
Yes, yes.

"What did you do this weekend?" -co-worker, who has some grey in their hair, but is not a Baby Boomer
"That crazy you can't even say huh?"

I watched Teen Mom 2 on repeat and until my eyes bled and then vacuumed my roommate's dog's hair and then went shoe shopping online.

1 comment:

  1. have you seen the new purge? they kill off all the people like what you're describing. will not claim it wasn't satisfying.