Wednesday, July 20, 2016

This Week In Cyber Bullying

Wouldn't it be funny if this was a reoccurring series I had? Where I just tracked all the cyber-bullying going on in the world? Wouldn't it tho? Wouldn't it?????????????????????

Calvin cyber-bullies Tay

cannot believe tay dated a dj

Everyone is always asking me, PMS, how do you stay so beautiful and witty and humble and PMS, is that your real hair, and PMS, what do you think about Calvin and Taylor Swift? I think Calvin has always been a giant a$$hole and I was shocked when Tay started dating him but underwear model amirite.

Anyway, you've read enough BuzzFeed and Vulture and Page Six articles and forwarded emails from your mom to know by now that Tay and Calvin broke up, Tay started seeing Tom Hiddleston, who only your boyfriend knew about, and then Tay was all LOL I ACTUALLY WROTE YOUR BEST SONG, CALVIN.

And then Calvin got mad, cyber-bullied Tay and everyone was like omg????????

second-hand embarrassment

But can I just say that all Swift fans knew she wrote the song a long-ass time ago. Like if you're a Swift fan, then you know she's Nils Sjoberg and none of this week's news was a surprise.

Also I have a theory that Calvin's ego couldn't handle Taylor Swift being a songwriter on his song so then to piss him off, because pissing off ex-boyfriends is everyone's favorite pasttime, Taylor was like SUP BITCHES, I WROTE THE SONG.

Also I think Calvin was a real douche to Rita Ora after they broke up, so I'm not shocked at his antics.

I also think Tay should prevent Calvin from performing the song on TV like Calvin did to Rita. That's all, folks.

Kim cyber-bullies Tay

Also by now you should know about #famousgate and how two people texted me to ask me to explain it to them in simple terms like I'm a g-d kindergarten teacher alive to educate the world in pop culture. I have a job and my friends and I engaged in a group chat from 9 p.m. July 17 until now about the entire thing, so I don't really have time to educate the poor and confused. That entire time in my life was a blur. There was no stopping, no sleeping, no eating. My friends and I were constantly talking about #famousgate and what it meant.

Also, my friend Cayla was the only one who was awake during the entire thing when it first happened and she was mad.

But yes, people are looking for my opinion and here it is: Tay lied. For the most part. I'm not sure if we know the whole story, but she lied and that's ok. She got caught. But to everyone who says OH SHE'S NOT SO SWEET ANYMORE, I literally have never called Taylor Swift sweet. If you ask me why I like her, I say she's smart, talented, and wears cool clothes. I think Tay Swift is Regina George before Regina George. I think she is controlling and does it in a way where you don't know you're being controlled. She plays up a certain role, but I could argue we all do that. I have theories about her and Lorde's friendship, but that's for another time when you buy me a drink and ask me about it.

PMS cyber-bullies former Bachelor contestant

Becca Tilley is everyone's favorite two-time Bachelor contestant, who is chic as hell and famously does a lot, A LOT, of facebook ads. Here's how our lil Twitter exchange went down:

2:19 p.m. July 15, 2016
Augusta texted the group.

2:20 p.m.
I tweeted it and quoted Augusta.

2:20:15 p.m.
Augusta got mad.

2:25 p.m.
I deleted the tweet and tweeted it myself. Not quoting anyone but my beautiful, beautiful brain.

2:58 p.m.
Becca responded and blocked me from Instagram

Other tweets happened, but I'm too lazy to include them, so just follow me @paginaskinner, WOW WHAT A GREAT PLUG, I'M A FASHION/MARKETING BLOGGER NOW.

But here's my problem. I don't even think my tweet was mean, I think it was obvious that my tweet was meant to be dramatic, like of course she's not going to do an ad for ISIS, but I just don't understand how someone can be so un-self-aware about themselves and what people think about them. Like how you gonna go on the Bachelor two times, then make a career out of being an Instagram celebrity and then block someone from Instagram where you make your money. How will I ever know if the discount code is BECCA25 or BECCASUNGLASSES?????????????

She later trolled my page to I guess see if i regretted it and I don't regret the time I told my boyfriend I don't believe in dinosaurs, so I don't really regret this one either. It was a joke and I thought Becca Tilley, a person who regularly makes fun of her weight and appearance, would be able to take it. But she responded to my tweet about her deleting her tweet where she does make fun of herself and I'm like ok???????? .

Yogurt brand cyber-bullies Sassy, I cyber-bully back
This one is so tragic, but here we go. My friend Sassy tweeted a yogurt brand about how much she loved their products and added a "let me work for you." The yogurt brand tweeted back the gif below and I was not having it.

I tweeted all of this why is that dramatic:

They apologized and everything is ok in the world.

Also: Khloe vs. Chloe happened, Joseph Kahn went off, and other tragic things. Thank u.

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