Wednesday, February 15, 2017

I Just Finished People vs. OJ And Now I'm A Lawyer


Y'all. I think OJ did it.

I just finished the People vs. OJ series (or as I like to call it when I'm sleepy: American Horror Story or America vs. the People) because it just now came on Netflix. Here are my random thoughts, observations, questions, legal advice.

I apparently know nothing about the law
No, like, you could maybe tell me writing this blog is illegal and I would show up to jail in my orange jumpsuit because I know nothing. I do not understand how the defense team just got to redecorate OJ's house before the jury went to tour it???? Is there not an amendment for that??

Speaking of amendments
After Mark Fuhrman declared it so many times, I had to google what the fifth amendment was, so thanks for nothing, 12th grade history teacher.

John Travolta scares me

Kris Jenner has been through a lot, ok??? So back off???
Her best friend was murdered, her ex-husband defended the accused murderer (I use accused because I'm a fair and objective journalist, thank you), her daughter starred in a sex tape, her other ex-husband turned into a woman, and her youngest is dating Tyga. I had one boyfriend who turned out to be gay and I'm ready to write a damn memoir. But like can we all just give Kris a break????

I did not hate Judge Ito so now what
From everything I read (the one Wendy Williams interview of Marcia Clark I watched), I thought I was going to hate judge Ito for being a sexist pig. But the TV show did not depict him that way at all, so now like I don't know what to believe???

No, but like why did she get that perm
Everyone was like go softer, go softer, and so Marcia Clark was like perm it is! I guess I just don't get it.

HOW THE HELL DO YOU GET A ROBERT KARDASHIAN IN YOUR LIFE


In what world are Rob and OJ friends?
I only have one question I want to ask OJ Simpson and it's, "How did you and Robert become friends? Like, because I don't get it." Makes as much sense to me as Zack Morris and Screech being friends.

I cannot even fathom being on a jury like that
Like, there is a reason they spent only four hours deliberating and it's because they wanted the hell out of that situation. I cannot imagine going one day without TV, much less nine months.

Did Marcia and Darden have a love affair???
She refuses to answer the question in the 15 current-day interviews I've watched this evening.

I didn't know Sarah Paulson was lesbian.
This has nothing to do with anything, but I just learned this. Living in 1998 is great, thx for asking.

Wow, should not have had OJ try on the glove, amirite
What a rookie mistake, would not have happened if I was them, wow, cannot believe that, sad.

I would like Ryan Murphy to produce a mini series for the following:
Casey Anthony case
Christina Morris case
Mendez brothers
Kim Kardashian robbery case
Jonbenet Ramsey
Joan Rivers murder case
Paris Hilton DUI case
Every time someone famous gets a parking ticket case

Who still thinks OJ is innocent???????
I am trying. I am trying really, really hard, y'all. I thought about if Michael Young, my all-time favorite sports player, hero, man got accused of murder if I would think he was innocent or guilty. And if there was that much evidence against him, I still think I would think he was guilty??? But then I was like, oh, what if it was Taylor Swift. Now I get it.

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