Tuesday, April 25, 2017

"It's Fine, But Whataburger Is Better"

idk this is what u get when u google whataburger gif

I have said this on three different occasions in the last week, so pls save your fancy restaurants for someone more cultured than me.

I Went To Shake Shack And Only Have 47 Critiques Of It
I tweeted this once and the restaurant reviewer for the Dallas Observer favorited it, so like our opinions are right. I had high hopes for Shake Shack, mainly because I love shakes and burgers with shakes are fine, however, nothing can or will beat a turkey club and chocolate shake from Steak N Shake, don't @ me.

I'm not going to list all the problems I have with Shake Shack, but when I took one sip from its chocolate shake, I was appalled. I make myself a chocolate milkshake for breakfast ~twice a week, so I know good milkshakes. Shake Shack's milkshake tasted like they make it with Haagen Dazs chocolate ice cream and low-fat milk (this is not confirmed), which is the wrong way. I make my chocolate milkshakes with Blue Bell vanilla ice cream, Hershey's chocolate syrup, and whole milk (sometimes half n half if I'm feeling extra), which is the right way.

Boyfriend: "How do you like Shake Shack?"
Me: "It's fine, but Whataburger is better."

*Whataburger's chocolate shakes are almost as good as mine.

I Went To Carl's Jr. And Only Spent $12 On A Single Meal, It's Fine
I was in Austin, so I was able to get drunk on 6th Street eat at places not available to me in Dallas. I was there for like less than 24 hours, so all I really ate differently was Carl's Jr. I only spent about $35 on a meal there, it's whatever. The fries were fine, the burger was fine, but like, I'll take Whataburger.

Boyfriend: "I enjoyed Carl's Jr.'s fries."
Me: "It's fine, but Whataburger is better."

I Drove Through West, Texas And Stopped At That Kolache Place
It's called Czech Stop and there were only 845 people there, it's fine. While waiting in line, everything smelled good and everything pretty much looked ok. I went back and forth on whether I should get a kolache, but finally decided on a cinnamon roll heated up.

When I checked out at the register, I asked the nice woman who was no younger than 94 for a fork. In all her years, I don't think anyone has ever asked her for a fork, but here we are.

Boyfriend: "How is the cinnamon roll."
Me: "It's fine, but Whataburger is better."
Boyfriend: "Goddammit, Paige."

*Whataburger's cinnamon rolls are good in the morning, after a meal, and for a late-night snack.

Also, I swear I eat with other people besides my boyfriend, but whatever.

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