Friday, May 12, 2017

You Asked For It: No Idea What Happened In Better Call Saul But It Might Be Religious



You Asked For It is a series where I do what my readers asked for. I don't know how long this series will last.

Sometime last week or last month or god knows when, I asked my ~fans~ on Facebook what TV show they would like for my blog. In an effort to blog more and do what the people want, I am going to blog one episode of every show y'all suggested.

First up: Better Call Saul. This suggestion comes from Cassie Farris.


The description on Netflix is:

"Struggling lawyer Jimmy McGill tries to leave his seedy past behind him, but old habits die hard when a big opportunity presents itself."

I already hate it.

It's black and white and someone is cooking. I don't know if this is an ad or not. Netflix doesn't have ads? Someone is making a cinnamon roll. We're in Cinnabon.

Is this an ad.

Ok, so a man who is balding hates his job and hates his life. He goes home and begins pouring himself a drink because food court jobs are hard. He watches TV. We are still in black and white. Is the entire show this way. I'm not prepared for that.

*pauses to see how long this episode is*

I can't do 53 minutes of this, pls pray.

It's snowing outside, which I'm sure is symbolism for something. Thankfully, I'm not in school anymore, so I don't have to figure that out.

"He looks like the BTK killer."

I don't know who the BTK killer is.

The black and white man sees a commercial for a cheesy lawyer and the slogan is Better Call Saul. I really thought this was going to be a Biblical show bc Saul/Paul.

The opening credits come on and it was created by Peter Gould. I literally said out, "Didn't he create Saved By The Bell?" He did not. He created Breaking Bad, which I have never seen before. I'm already in over my head.

We meet Jimmy, who I believe is Saul in the courtroom. The courtroom scribe is a fat women drinking a Big Gulp and my roommate just informed me that's me in five years. Saul pumps himself up in the bathroom and then rushes into the courtroom and immediately starts defending his clients.

He's hyped. He's motivated. He might be on drugs.

He's defending three white boy teenagers and his defense is how 19-year-olds have a lot of hormones and not a lot of brains.

OK, so he's defending rape.

OK, so this is a Brock Turner documentary.

Then the prosecuting lawyer shows a video of what the three boys did and I think they killed someone and then had sex with the corpse???????????????????

Is this satire????????????????????????

Or is this what teenage boys are doing these days??????????????????????????????????

What am I watching?????????????????????????

I sat down for a nice Biblical show about Saul/Paul????????????????????????

Is anyone there????????????????????????

Can anybody hear me???????????????????????????

I'm going to try and continue after that scene, but honestly don't know if I can.

Next thing you know, Saul is in a meeting room with the hot professor from Saved By The Bell.

my oh my i would choose the professor over zack morris any day

hot professor today. don't hate it. courtesy of his website

They are talking about someone named Chuck. Then Saul goes to his office, which is in the back of a nail salon. He has zero messages on his phone because he's getting no business as a lawyer.

I AM ZONING OUT.

Finally, Saul runs over a skateboarder and the skateboarders try to blackmail him kind of by asking for money. Saul doesn't fall for it because Saul is a lawyer and he's in the business of scam. SO SORRY FOR ALL LAWYER FRIENDS READING THIS, I'M SURE Y'ALL ARE GREAT, AND Y'ALL ARE THE GOOD KIND.

My roommate is convinced this show is a lil bit Biblical because there are words like "atonement" and "sabbatical" and "day of reckoning" but I can't find any real evidence to back that up on the Internet, so I'm not sure. Hmmm hmmm hmmmm hmmmmmm

Now Saul is back home (???) with his brother Chuck. I only caught on to that because I read things on the internet, otherwise I would have no effing clue what was happening. Chuck is sick and Saul is taking care of him???? Help???? I also read that this is an actual prequel to Breaking Bad, which I have never watched one second of, so literally who is Walter White, what is meth, what is love. I have no idea what's happening right now.

The end is the only somewhat interesting part when Saul enlists those two skateboarders from before to purposely get hit by another car so they can collect some cash money. It backfires when the person in the car drives off though. Saul goes looking for the driver, but then knocks on someone else's door and they point a gun to his head.

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Here's my rating of the show showcased by my roommate's dog:


Thanks, Cassie for the recommendation, but no idea what happened.

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