Tuesday, July 18, 2017

That Time I Convinced Myself I Had A Brain Tumor


Maria Menounos has one, I probably have one, we all probably have one, we're all dying, this is it.

I semi-convinced myself I had a brain tumor, enough to write this blog, but not enough to actually go to the doctor.

But I did tell my boyfriend "I should go to the doctor," so like, one step at a time, people.

Let's rewind.
Every day for the past few weeks, I was getting headaches. They were small headaches and they wouldn't last long, but they were painful enough for me to bitch, yet not strong enough to warrant Advil. They were just these lil baby headaches in sometimes the back of my head and sometimes the very front and I simply classified it all as a brain tumor.

So I was like I'm sure it's because I'm staring at my computer screen all day, I should buy those glasses advertised on my Facebook feed for protecting my eyes against the solar rays or UV rays or something rays from the comp.

But I didn't buy any glasses (I will literally spend $100 on a top but not on glasses that help my vision) I was at my boyfriend's comedy show with my parents (WHICH IS AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT BLOG POST, THE STRESS OF SITTING NEXT TO YOUR PARENTS WHILE YOUR BOYFRIEND TELLS SEX JOKE AFTER SEX JOKE ABOUT OTHER WOMEN, i'm fine) and I'm telling them about my eye problems and my mom is like:

Why don't you turn down the brightness on your laptop?

And I didn't even respond. I was like mom, you think I haven't thought of that, you think I'm just making up brain tumor problems and it's just the brightness on my comp??????????

And then I went home and just for funsies, I was on my computer and I was like let's see where the brightness is, AND IT WAS ALL THE WAY UP, I WAS STARING INTO THE SUN BASICALLY, MY EYES WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.

i tried taking a screengrab of dark vs. bright but it doesn't show up any different.
 Sorry, Mom.

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