Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Why Do All The Holiday Parties Take Place Before We Receive All Our Cute Holiday Outfits?

The question I have posed in the title is a very good question that I'm sure you have not thought about before. Or if you have, you have not brought it up with me because when I thought about it today, I thought, Hmm, that is a good point; why don't more people speak about this?

Think about it. Think about all the holiday parties you go to wearing clothes that aren't brand new. And think about all the cute clothes you get on Christmas day, but after Christmas day, all the holiday parties are over and you have no where to wear your cute clothes.

New Years Eve parties do not count because New Years Eve is not a real holiday, much like Thanksgiving is not a real holiday. Yes, I still celebrate both events, but I understand that they are silly.

Having no where to wear your new cute Christmas clothes is a problem, but like most problems, I have a solution. The solution is I am going to have a nice holiday party after Christmas that is not a New Years Eve party. The party's main purpose will be to wear our new cute Christmas clothes and to talk about our new cute Christmas clothes. I shall call it New Cute Christmas Clothes Party and it shall be in my apartment.

I have not run this idea by my roommate because I am still mad at her for volunteering our apartment to host a birthday party for her friend. Her friend is Cayla, who happens to be my friend, too, but I am still mad. Cayla's birthday is on a Thursday, which is wrong, because I don't want people in my apartment on a school night. My roommate offered our apartment knowing full well I am bed every night by 9 p.m., but Thursday, I have to pretend none of that matters and watch people use my toilet after eating several tamales. The people will not use my roommate's toilet because her toilet isn't closest to the living room, like my toilet is. Do you see how this is technically a huge issue? Yes, my closet is bigger, which makes me win at one aspect of The Roommate War, but I have the toilet that is closest to the living room, so guests are always using it, which makes me lose another aspect.

But back to my New Cute Christmas Clothes Party. It will be a very good party and I hope you all can make it. And I hope zero people use my toilet.

Thank you.

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