Sunday, May 20, 2018

Everything I Don't Know About The Royal Family



Hello, if someone could give me a brief history on The Royal Family, that would be great. thxsomuch.

I don't know how I missed the day in elementary school when everyone became obsessed with Princess Diana, but I did and here we are. It's 2018 and Prince Harry married a black, divorced American and I know nothing.

Here is everything I know about The Royal Family (in no particular order):

  • There is a Queen Elizabeth
  • There was a Mary Queen of Scots
  • Mary Queen of Scots had her head removed I think?
  • Queen Elizabeth gave birth to Charles
  • Charles wanted to marry Camilla but Queen Elizabeth said no and made him marry Princess Diana
  • Diana and Charles had William and Harry
  • Charles and Diana cheated on each other
  • Diana died in car accident bc paps
  • Charles married Camilla
  • William married Kate, a commoner
  • William went bald
  • Kate had three children, George, Charlotte, and Louis, whose name I just learned
  • Harry one time wore a Nazi uniform as a Halloween costume
  • Harry dated lots of women, none of them me
  • Harry married Meghan Markle who was on a show called Suits
  • Meghan is black, divorced, American and an actress
  • Meghan's dad staged the pap photos
  • But then he had a heart attack and couldn't come to wedding


Here are all the questions I have regarding The Royal Family:

  • Their last name is Windsor, but so is the castle's name?
  • Kate is a princess and also a duchess?
  • William will be king next, not Charles?
  • Is the queen the highest in charge or the king?
  • How many people have to die before Harry becomes king?
  • What does The Royal Family do?
  • Harry fought in the army? For the Nazis?
  • Why do people worship Diana?
  • In the Lifetime movie, Queen Elizabeth says they're all part African. Is that true?
  • Does Harry really think Diana talks to him through a lion?
  • Was my dream about a lion last name caused by the Lifetime movie where Diana comes back in the form of a lion?
  • Or was it a tiger?
  • Is Meghan Markle likable?
  • Because I don't like her?
  • Is everyone related?
  • Weren't Charles and Diana, like, related?
  • Charles dated Diana's older sister first? Yes?
  • What are the conspiracy theories surrounding Diana's death?
  • Who do the gays love more-- Princess Diana or Madonna?
  • Why does The Royal Family have to invite exes to their wedding?
  • Was Meghan's ex-husband there?
  • Is The Crown good?
  • But, like, would I understand it?
  • I'm looking for a new hobby, is researching The Royal Family a good one?
  • What kept Meghan's dad from the Royal Wedding-- the heart attack or the shame of staging pap photos?


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