Sunday, August 12, 2018

The moment I knew I hit rock bottom: I Pottied My Panties At A Miranda Lambert Concert


This is not the first time I have pottied my pants at a concert.

But last night, Brad and I went to the Miranda Lambert and Little Big Town concert. It was raining. It was hot. It was borderline miserable.

About halfway through Miranda's set, Pistol Annies came out. Pistol Annies is Miranda's all-girl country group. They sing "Hell on Heels" and "Takin' Pills" and they are amazing. In college, my friend and I used to obsess over them. One time, we performed "Hell on Heels" at a party in front of guys. No one thought it was cool, but we loved them so much.

So before Pistol Annies came out on stage, I drank an entire big can of Dos Equis. After that I had to pee, but I didn't want to leave just in case Miranda sang a song I liked. I honestly thought I could just hold it in the entire concert. But when Pistol Annies came out on stage, I jumped up and threw my hands in the air. And that's when the pee came out.

It wasn't a lot, but it was enough. But I kept singing because I wasn't going to miss Pistol Annies because of a lil pee.

I stayed for another three songs and then went to the restroom.

In the line for the restroom, a couple was behind me. The man kept saying "Excuse me" until I finally turned around. He asked me to hold his beer. I looked at him for about four seconds because I honestly thought I was getting set up. He finally said, "Fine, I'll ask my wife to hold it." I was like good idea?????

Then the two women in front of me sarcastically said to me, "You didn't want to hold that guy's beer?" So after that one sentence, I was best friends with the two 40-somethings in front of me. Without even thinking, I told them that "I pottied my panties" when Pistol Annies came on stage. One of the women said, "Oh, you must have kids! That happens all the time after you give birth."

Again, without thinking, I said, "No, I don't have kids. I just potty my panties sometimes."

She said, "Oh, you must have been excited then!"

I was.

This is day 17 of 100 days of blogging. I didn't post anything yesterday. Oops. Read day 16 here.

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