Monday, September 16, 2019

I Like Brad Pitt

i got this photo from the internet

It has come to my attention: a man. A man named Brad Pitt.

Tuesday, August 27, 2019

Taylor Swift's Lover Is Good!!!!

youtube screenshot

WHO WANTS TO READ ALL MY THOUGHTS ON LOVER, THE SEVENTH STUDIO ALBUM FROM TAYLOR ALISON SWIFT?????????

here we go.

Thursday, August 22, 2019

Taylor Swift Lover-Inspired Outfits


My friend, Katie Johnson, came to me what seems like six months ago to let me know she wanted to write a guest blog on what to wear to a Taylor Swift album release-themed party. I said OK and three years later, it's finally here. I am not going to edit this because I like the raw nature of it all. Please, enjoy Katie's finds on Amazon.

We are here to help you get your Lover outfit for LESS.

98% of these are Amazon fashion bc it’s 2019 and we don’t have time for anything else.

Sunday, August 18, 2019

Never Watch The Original Grease Again


My iTunes says I have watched Grease Live 19 times, but I know it's more than that. I watched it the night it premiered on FOX on Jan. 31, 2016. I watched it the next day. I watched at least three times that next week. And I watch it almost every day I have time (I always have time).

Thursday, August 1, 2019

I Moved To LA


In April. But this blog is in July. OK, it's August. I started writing this post in July and then got bored and fell asleep and now it's August and I can't sleep, so I will try again.

I just looked and I didn't blog any of June or July, which is the first time I have gone two whole months not blogging. Someone take away my blogging license!!! I haven't been blogging because every single ounce of creative energy in my body goes toward writing for money because right now that's the only way I make money. So blogging for free is my last priority and considering approximately zero people have asked me about my blog, I'm guessing y'all are fine and this blog is simply something I create to put out into the void of the world wide web!!!!!!!

Back to LA. On one hand it feels like I've been here forever because when I think back to the first week I was here, it feels like a century ago. Isn't that fascinating? Like when someone says, oh man, I can't believe it's been 10 years since I graduated high school, and you're like, cool! Neat!

But I'm sure all of y'all are DYING to know what I've been up to, so let's do the damn thing!!!!

Thursday, May 9, 2019

A Timeline Of My Daniel-Tosh-Is-Married Meltdown

courtesy the internet, don't sue me

I'm not ok.

But I'm smiling through the tears.

7:06 p.m. PST May 7, 2019
Tosh.0 is on. It's an episode I haven't seen.

Saturday, April 27, 2019

Everything I Now Know About The Avengers


THIS BLOG POST CONTAINS SPOILERS, SO STOP READING THIS IF YOU CARE. DON'T COME FOR ME.

Brad and I went to see Avengers: Endgame on Friday. I did this because a) I was bored b) I was trying to be a good girlfriend c) I thought it would be nice to do this for him, considering he let me listen to Taylor Swift's "ME!" on repeat the night before.

I have never seen any Marvel movie ever. I don't think. One time Brad enticed me to watch the one with Chris Pratt with the promise that he takes his shirt off and I watched until he took his shirt off and then I went to bed, so like I don't remember much except a talking raccoon.

Tuesday, April 9, 2019

My Relationship With Colton Underwood


Here's a fun thing to know about me: I didn't watch one single episode of The Bachelor this season. I ... just ... couldn't.

I just like could not be convinced that Colton was interested in women and I just couldn't go an entire season hearing about his virginity and I also didn't watch Becca's season, so like I didn't know Colton and all I knew about him was actually I knew a lot of things.

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

My Friends Think I'm A Carrie; My Boyfriend Thinks I'm A Charlotte



Wow, remember Sex And The City? That show was really good until you turn about 25 and then suddenly, you're like, wait, this show is v v bad?????

Carrie, a SEX columnist, is like comically closed-minded. Remember when she didn't believe you could be bisexual? And remember that time Samantha slept with a black guy and the entire episode was black jokes. And remember that time she didn't want to get on Berger's motorcycle bc of her ugly hairdo. WOW. What a horribly great show.

Anyway, one time my friends and me and my boyfriend got to discussing which character I am most like. Everyone is someone. There are only four types of women in the world and you must fit into one of them.

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

I Now Wake Up In The Middle of The Night To Pee


Being 28 years old means these things:

  1. You survived the 27 Club
  2. You are almost 30
  3. You are no longer in your early 20s
  4. You're the age Paul McCartney was when he went solo
  5. You get up in the middle of the night to pee

Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Being A Social Justice Warrior Is Hard


At the beginning of 2018, I was an ignorant but blissful fool, just trying to navigate the world as a social justice warrior.

It was 2018, merely one year ago, that I decided to give up fast fashion. Fashion that is fast. It wasn't even that I wanted more sustainable fashion or clothes that would last longer, I really just wanted to put my money where my mouth was. If I was going to be against sex trafficking, I was going to be against labor trafficking. Read: I didn't want a 6-year-old trafficked child to make my clothes in some factory in a third-world country.

So I gave it up. No more Forever 21 or H&M or Zara. These places are relatively cheap (kind of: when did Zara get so expensive), so I figured they would have a lower risk of their clothes being made in sweat shops.

Thursday, January 24, 2019

Dr. Payge Column: Nothing 2 Advil And A Hot Shower Can't Fix



Hello, welcome to this column I just made up called Dr. Payge (my friends call me Dr. Payge and idk why) Gives Medical Advice.



In today's column, I going to explain why all you really need in life is a bottle of Advil and a hot shower. Here we go.