Wednesday, February 27, 2019

I Now Wake Up In The Middle of The Night To Pee


Being 28 years old means these things:

  1. You survived the 27 Club
  2. You are almost 30
  3. You are no longer in your early 20s
  4. You're the age Paul McCartney was when he went solo
  5. You get up in the middle of the night to pee
The last one (No. 5) has been the most shocking. At 5 a.m. this morning, I found myself stumbling to the bathroom and taking a nice long pee. Never in my 28 years before have I woken up from a (sober) slumber and peed. If I did happen to do this, it was because I was still drunk (or hungover).

Old people always talk about having to get up in the middle of the night to pee. 

Conversation:
Old people: "Wow, last night I got up to pee and I couldn't go back to sleep."
Young people: "Wow, I slept through the night."
Old people: "Yeah, I eventually just went to the couch and watched TV (the old person is married in this situation and can't wake up their partner)."
Young people: "Wow, haha, yeah."

I am now the old person in this scenario. But luckily for me, nothing can keep me awake for too long, so right after I get up to pee, I am back in bed and snuggled in and back to sleep.

There is also a 97 percent chance I have to pee in the middle of the night because of the acne medication I'm on. It says peeing a lot is a side effect, but I also think it's because I'm old now.

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